Trauma

246 days left..

I'm ecstatic.. but still really scared..

I can't shut out that previous part of my life..

I'm ever-so-grateful that it's part of my PAST.. but the trauma of it all has affected my future security for the wedding at hand..

I'm still scared that everything will fall apart.. I'm still terrified of "plans" because of how they always seemed to fall to pieces in my past.. I'm scared that I'm putting so much into this.. only to find it thrown into my face.. and be left alone and broken..

I keep telling myself that my past is no reflection of the future..

My past taught me a lot about trust.. and security.. and keeping safe.. but it's been hindering my ability to take risks..

I'm working past it..

I've got a great fiance.. and we've got a great life ahead of it..

I just know it!