Don't hate!

It's pitchy..

It's bad..

It's my first time ever singing on this site.. it's like a karaoke thing.. it's pretty awesome..

Even though I suck..

But enjoy!

I'm hungry..

I need to go to lunch. I'm hungry.

The week seems to be going pretty slow for me so far.

Tomorrow I have my "pre-walk to class" with my admissions counselor and then I have to do my autobiography for tuesday.

Can you believe I have homework due on the first day of school?!?!

I find that funny. I'm not going to complain.

I can't complain about homework or classwork. It was my decision to go back to school so I really SHOULDN'T complain. I know that I will find myself complaining at some point. I know that I will ask myself why I put myself through this at some point.

But I know I really shouldn't because it was MY decision.. no one else's but my own.

Tick, tock! I can't wait!

The month is almost over...

February breezed on by so quickly.

Then again, February always goes by fast because it's the shortest month. Duh.

Anyway, this will be exciting because starting in March, I will be starting the MBA program! I'm so excited. All the applications and all the financial aid went through smoothly and I should be working on it steadily. If God permits, I should be finished in a year and a half.

I pray to the Lord that I will get through the program smoothly and that there will be no obstacles in the way of my success.

I'm so excited! I can't wait to start!

Tick.. tock..

So.. I was able to go to sleep last night. I just made sure that I watched something happy before I went to bed... so I watched some Food Network to get my mind off the scary, haunted mansions and whatnot..

Anyway..

I'm just waiting for the University of Phoenix financial counselor to call me and tell me what I need to do next in order to get started. I'm so excited because this is something that I have decided to do for myself.

I don't have to get a Masters Degree. My family has survived on my father's income and he only has a Bachelors Degree.. so.. a Masters Degree is something my parents thought would be a nice thing for me to have.. but it wasn't a mandatory thing to get..

So getting this degree is strictly my own decision and it will be strictly financed by me.

This degree will be mine.. and mine alone..

And if God permits I pass and attain it.. it will be something I can be very proud of having.. and it will be my own burden of financial aid.. and that's the only downside to it all.

My parents and my family and my friends are also so supportive of my decision and it just makes me want it more because I really don't want to disappoint them.

So.. for now.. I'm just waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting..

I hope I don't have to wait too long.. cuz I really want to start in March!

Scary!

I'm sitting in front of the TV watching International Ghost Hunters on the SciFi Channel.

Oh man, I'm so not going to be able to sleep because of this. It's quite scary.. especially the way it's been edited.. the music really adds to the feel of this show. It's an interesting program, but I always get scared and I have a hard time sleeping at night afterwards.

Maybe I should stop watching... but I can't.. it's quite addicting!

Right now, the episode is about Frankenstein's Castle. They are investigating all over the place trying to find "activity" similar to the types that have been reported by various people.

The team that does the investigating of these "haunted" places are usually very thorough and end up de-bunking a lot of the claims that people have experienced in the past. It's a little disheartening when you want something to be haunted, but in a way.. it shows that there is an explaination for almost everything.

Granted, there are moments and sorts of activity that are inexplicable but they usually tell the owners of the place that it requires more investigation.

They don't want to commit to a place being haunted. I guess it's becasue they only have that one night to investigate and they don't want to make hasty assumptions before really making sure that something is really inexplicable. In a way, that's a good thing, but it makes the show a little discouraging because you want things to happne.

Is it just me?

OH well.. looks like I'm going to be up all night.. hahah!

Watch this!

Doing what you need to do..

I'm at the time in my life that I realize that I am not heading in the direction that I thought I would be when I as 16. I guess I have been in denial about it all these years and I'm finally waking up from it all.

When a girl is sixteen, they have dreams about where they will be before they turn 30. The have dreams about how their life would be by the time their 10 year high school reunion comes along.

Personally, my expectation was that I was going to be famous. I was going to be all over TV and the movies, I would either be a pop star singer or an actress. I was so set on having that happen before my 10-year reunion. Before I turned 30, I was to have been married with children.

I'm 27, and I am single, no where near getting married, and without children. I have a great career, and great friends and great family.

For that, I still feel very blessed.

But I'm at the point of my life that I have to move forward. And if I can't move forward in the way I had always thought and dreamed of doing, I have to find another way. That other way is school.

Getting my Masters Degree is a pretty big deal for me and the family. Everyone in my immediate family has survived on a Bachelors Degree and has been very successful. I am successful with my Bachelors Degree, but I would love to earn my Masters. Also, this is something I will be doing by myself. My parents will not be helping me because it is not their duty anymore. They have worked very hard to get me through college the first time, why burden them with my new quest for higher education.

I'm taking my life into my own hands.. and eventually, I can do the things that I had always dreamed of doing.. but for now.. this is the direction I need to be going..

Burn! Buzzkill!

So.. in filling out the financial aide thingy.. I realized that this is going to be more expensive than I thought.

At the end of the course.. I'll owe $40K+..

Dude.. that's like a.. A CAR!

I'll have 10 years to pay it off.. and because of that the monthlies will be about $350.. more or less..

That means.. I have to save.. NOW.. NOW.. NOW!

I have several plans on how to save money and I intend on sticking to it..

One of those plans is PARTYLITE..

So.. I will be throwing catalog parties a lot.. and I am definitely willing to work with people that sell other things too.. like Avon or Tupperware.. and do a mulit-vendor deal..

My first catalog party will be from March 1st to March 15.

Remember there will be a raffle for free stuff..

1 raffle ticket for every $10 spent..

My goal is for this party to be a MINIMUM of $500.. that's 10 people buying $50 dollars worth of stuff.. that's all I ask.

Tell your friends.. start checking out the catalog..
http://www.partylite.biz/sites/bettyfox/page-catalog?CatID=48&TotalPages=82&PageNum=1

Write down what you think you may want.. and let me know!

Holding myself accountable..

Well.. I'm halfway through the process of applying at the University of Phoenix for their online course to get myself a Masters Degree in Business Administration..

Now, for everyone that knows me, you all know that I am the world's biggest science geek.

I opted out of taking business courses in my Biotechnology cluster in order to take the hard bacteriology/microbiology classes.. after all my friends told me that the Biotech Business route was the easiest to take for graduation..

So, what am I doing getting my MBA?

Well.. for starters.. it's much easier to get than an Masters Degree in Molecular Biology.

The MBA course is completely online. There is no committment to go to a meeting place or anything. That makes things a little easier, especially with my busy schedule.

It's a relatively fast course. If I go through it straight, without any breaks, it should only take me a year and a half. I can complete the course at my own pace... taking breaks between classes and determinng how much time I really need in between classes..

It's one class at a time.. about thirteen classes.. and the classes last for six weeks at a time..

Now you ask.. what will I do with the MBA when I'm done..

Honestly.. I don't know.. I know that the MBA can eventually lead to many open doors.. even in the lab I work at.. I'll have management skills to become a supervisor..

I'm going to get the MBA.. and I know the Lord will lead me to whereever I need to be next..

It's all in His plan.. and so far.. I'm liking the direction..

Behold.. the wood of the cross..

Today is Friday. The first Friday of Lent.

The choir is being asked to sing for the Stations of the Cross readings today. I will be there.

My Lent goal is to be able to attend every Stations of the Cross reading that is done every Friday of Lent.

It's good.

Through each station, there is a reading and a meditation and a moment to pray over that particular moment. You reflect on the sacrifice He made for us and how much He really did love us to go through all He went through.

It's a really nice thing to do and doesn't really take that long. It's fourteen stations from the trial to the death and the burial. There are meditations for each station and you really get a sense of what was going on and how thankful we are to Him for the sacrifice He made.

Everyone should go to a Stations of the Cross.

I will be taking mine one week at a time so that I don't feel so overwhelmed about thinking about going for all of Lent. I hope to make my goal of going every week, but I don't want to make promises because I don't want to feel completely awful if I can't do it.

Since I'll be going to choir rehearsal at that same church, then there shouldn't be a problem about going before the rehearsal. And since the Starbucks is so close by the church, then it shouldn't be a problem to run down there afterwards for my obligatory cup o' coffee during rehearsal.. hee hee..

Meditate on this..

My life is not my own. We shouldn't live life based on what "makes me feel good."

We should be living our life knowing that it was God-given. Everything we have, everything we've done, everything about us.. is God given.

As a human, sometimes the things that make us "feel good" are things that aren't necessarily good for us. "Feeling good" is all relative. What feels good for you may not feel good for me, right?

Think about it..

Whirlwind..

The year is speeding by so quickly. It's Ash Wednesday today.. and hence.. the start of Lent. Next thing we all know.. we are in Easter.

Where is all this time going?

What have I been doing?

I feel like my life stood still for two weeks while I was away. It was weird to come back home and realize that the world kept going while I was across the planet. The lab kept working... people kept doing what they do.. the world didn't stop for them.. as it did for me.

Grampa is in his final resting place and I know he's smiling down on me from heaven.

I'm still grieving. I know it's natural. I am more sensitive to songs now that I have been. I cry so much faster than I used to.

It's a process..

Tho' I've accepted his passing.. the thought of him not being around and the hurt that causes is still fresh.

Only time can heal this wound.

I don't know of anything "light" to talk about lately. There hasn't been much "light" events in my life.. maybe there have been.. and I've just been over looking it.

I hope things look up soon. I"m tired of blogging things that are so serious and sad..

No day.. but today..

I am writing this on Monday night.

In Guam, it's Tuesday.. probably early evening.

In Guam.. today was my Grandfather's funeral.

My grandfather is at his final resting place and I am feeling so many different and conflicting feelings.

I'm sad. I miss him. I feel like we took his presence for granted when he was alive. I feel like we didn't take too much time out of our lives to give him a simple call. Granted, he was hard of hearing and communicating was difficult... but the mere action should have been done. I miss him a lot and if I could go back in time, I would have made sure we would have kept in touch with him so much more.

I feel relief. I feel relief that he is now resting in peace. He is no longer suffering. He is happy and healthy with the Lord. I thank God everyday that He showed mercy on my grandfather and gave him a peaceful passing. I thank God that my grandfather didn't suffer and struggle for air in his final minutes.

I feel blessed. I feel blessed that I was able to spend that time with him. I feel blessed that I can still remember how it felt for him to hold my hand so tightly. I feel blessed that I remember what it feels like to kiss him on top of his bald head. I feel blessed that I can close my eyes and still see him smiling at me. I feel blessed that I was able to have him look at me.. and with pride in his eyes tell me "I'm your grampa!" Those were the last words he had spoken to me. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to cook a meal for him and for him to actually eat it.. with his own hands. The minute he found out that I was cooking... he made sure that he was to eat it.. and he made sure that he was to feed himself.. Blessed. I thank God everyday for that opportunity.

It's a big rollercoaster ride of emotions over my grandfather's passing.

This is my greiving process.

This is my world..

The things that need to be done..

I have so many things that need to be done and I end up waking up at noon. Not that I'm really complaining. I think I really needed to sleep in and catch up on all the sleep I have been missing out on lately. However, with a laundry list of things to do, I don't think that I will be able to finish this all within relative reason.

I have to finish reorganizing my room. The havoc of the reorganization has extended out of the boundaries of my room and into the hallway, thus impeding on the space between my room and the bathroom and I literally have to jump hurdles in order to get to the bathroom now. This needs to be done ASAP.

Laundry. Always laundry. The never ending laundry seems to be a massive mountain of clothes that need to be cleaned. Multiple loads must be done today. The completion of the reorganization of my room is partially dependent on how much laundry I can get done.

It's also "cleaning the bed sheets/comforter" day. Hopefully I can get it in the laundry on time to get it to dry on time so I can use them again tonight.

Lastly, I have to write my Grandfather's eulogy. His funeral is on a Tuesday in Guam. That means it's on a Monday here. I have no time to procrastinate.

Lord, give me the strength and the drive to finish all the things I need to get done today. Also, let the words just flow out of me in a loving manner. I want to represent my family and my grandfather in the best way possible.