God, give me strength...

Lord Jesus Christ,

Why don't You ever give me the strength to resist the temptations that You put in front of me? Am I just that weak of a person that cannot handle being strong enough to say no? Lord, I really wanted to say no. I did.. but other things took over me. I couldn't stop myself Lord. Please, give me strength for next time and the time after and the time after.

Lord, I want to say no. I'm offering to You my strength and my weaknesses. I trust that You can help me overcome these temptations until it is proper and right to do these acts. Lord, I feel so guilty because I know that it is not proper in Your eyes to do the things I've been doing. Please Lord, help me. Guide me. I offer all these burdens to You.

Amen.

There must be someting wrong..

I don't feel good.. in the heart.. in the soul.. i have this dark cloud hovering over me and it constantly follows me.. reminding me of how crappy life is.. reminding me how i'm never gonna be happy.. reminding me that although the skies are clearing up outside... that the skies in my life will never clear.. i'm always gonna be dark.. it's always gonna be cloudy.. it's always gonna suck...

My life is always gonna be sad...

My head hurts.. i wanna cry...

Dare i?

ha!. i will not use capital letters in my blog today. i will just use lower case letters cuz i'm cool like that. i am also very bored. i have less that a minute. then i have to go.. in 10 seconds...

ok.. i'm back.. for about ten more mintues then i have to go back again...

i have a massive headache.. i don't feel so uppedy... i'm tired.. i wanna just sleep... oh well.. so much for that plan.. i'm so busy.. i have to go to the theater tonight.. i'm still hoping that the show will be cancelled due to rain.. i really hope thats gonna happen... sigh...

oh well...

Jack Handy is a genius!

If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

Yup.. he's so funny.. i like him...

Ooh "she's all that" is on the television..

I'm so sad.. my brother and mother went out to the LA art museum.. i wanted to go so bad... i love the art museums... i loved the getty museum.. it was awesome.. it was so pretty... geez.. i wanted to go.. i like looking at that stuff.. now granted.. i have no idea what the styles are and who the artists are and what not.. but i think it's so awesome to look at...

Okay.. i'm done complaining...

Avenue Q!

I got the Avenue Q soundtrack.. heee hee.. it's funny...

Sigh.. i feel swamped at work today.. but it's okay cuz i'm catching up and it's all good... so.. ya.. i'm gonna go..

I'm.. eh...

So.. i'm here.. with time to blog.. but nothing to blog about.

I'm talking to my friend, Kar-el, on the computer... we are chatting about stuff in general... ya.. i have nothing interesting to really talk about cuz nothing interesting really has happened..

I've been spending most of my time on pinoyexchange.com and joining in on the forums there cuz they are interesting and it's a bunch of the same people liking the same thing.. so that's what i've been doing.. i've so far been in discussion forums with backstreet boys fans.. bea fans.. bea and john lloyd fans.. and christian bautista fans.. it's great...

I'm outs...

I'm sighing cuz there is nothing to do...

I'm at work and there is nothing to do! I did all i needed to do and there isn't anything I can do about the two pending orders we have because their situation is beyond the realms of what i am able to do...

It's gloomy outside and i'm kinda hungry..

Sigh...

So let's see.. what's new in my life? Nothing much.. it's valentines day today and well.. i don't believe in it so it doesn't matter...

Justyn and I are doing fine since we got off of the break.. it gave me more perspective toward out relationship and how much i really do care about him and how much i really do wanna spend the rest of my life with him and how right it all feels and that i'm not making a mistake..

I'm sleepy.. i wanna take a nap.. but i'm at work and that's not good...

I guess i'm gonna find something to do..

Suddenly..

Suddenly I'm sane again... all it took was that phone call and now.. my life is better... i feel the residual stress... the tension is someting that wont' totally go away... i have a hard time concentrating on my breath in yoga class... and my neck and shoulders are the worst.. i'm having trouble sleeping.. but.. my soul feels lighter.. i feel lighter.. more complete...

I'm glad i called him...

Oooh.. i'm back.. i'm back.. i'm back... i'm back..

I called him... and we are all good together... i love him.. and YAY!

Crazy crazy crazy...

Gosh.. i wanna call him.. its nagging me.. it's the strongest urge ever! I wanna be back in his arms.. i want him to hold me.. i want him to squeeze me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay.. i wanna go back.. i wanna know that he's there for me.. i don't wanna be away anymore.. oh my God.. this is hard...

I thought i was gonna have a good day today.. i am.. but i just wanna be with him..

A couple more days.. maybe just a couple more days..

Today.. is sooo.. not the day...

Okay.. today is NOT the day for the stupid computer to be acting up today! Good golly... i'm way too busy for me to get setback with the retarded computer acting up.. good lawd.. lawdy...

Okay.. back to normal.. somewhat.. now i have to pee...

I'm back.. refreshed...

I'm tired.. i'm sleepy.. i'm stuffy... i wanna go home.. and time is going by so slow... slow today.. why is time going by so damn slow today.. geez man! This sucks.. i wanted time to fly by today.. this isn't cool.. not cool at all.. gawd darn it...

Dern yankees...