I pray to God this won't happen to me...

I don't want this to happen to me.. to be so scared.. to be so hurt.. that i can't ever let anyone in again.. i mean.. it was hard enough to let justyn in.. it was scary enough to finally let him in my life.. and right when i trusted that everything was going to be ok.. this happens..

I don't want myself to end up like this..

KELLY CLARKSON
"Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

I want to be able to move on properly if things don't end up the way i really want them to.. i don't want to be hurt beyond repair if the worst happens.. because I know that's what's going to happen.. I don't want to be this song..

I guess.. the point i'm trying to make is that I have to start preparing myself for the worst.. he is.. why can't i.. he knows that there is that possibility.. he's accepted that it could happen.. i should start doing so too.. but please, God.. dont' let it happen... but if it does.. give me the strenght to move on with my life..