Today is the day I get full closure. Mark this date.. July 29th, 2008. Today.. a chapter of my life will finally close.. and I can begin a whole new book.. one without any markings of this past..
Now you may wonder what the heck I'm talking about.. well.. I'll tell you.
Today.. I'm finally going to give away that wedding dress that has been sitting in my closet since 2006. I was supposed to get married.. remember. Little did anyone know.. but I had the dress.. I made him swear that we were going to go through with the wedding and he said yes.. and we both thought that's what we wanted.. so I bought it..
And it sat.. and sat.. and sat.. in my closet..
Through postponements.. break ups.. make ups.. cancellations.. drama.. drama.. drama.. it sat there.. waiting to be used.
Well.. I hope it will be used.. it just won't be by me. I wish who ever will end up with it a lifetime of love and happiness.. the lifetime i thought i was going to have.. but didn't.. a lifetime I still pray to have and will always patiently wait for God to give me..
I'm sad.. I know this is finally admitting to the fact that I have had a failed engagement.. and even though I know that the end of that part of my life was so much more a blessing than anything.. i can't help but be sad..
And scared..
My judgement of who could be "the one" is off.. way off.. and who knows who it could be.. and what if I'm wrong again.. or what if I let "the one" pass me by.. or all those possible "what-ifs.."
I will be freed from the chains of my past relationship.. finally.. it's bittersweet.. but at the same time.. relieving..
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1 comment:
Sometimes it's just good to cl;ose the book. Open it at a new chapter and go on.
You aren't the same person you were then.
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