SCREAM!

I've been trying to escape this nagging feeling I have been feeling lately.

It's inexplicable.

I'm frustrated with life. There is no reason for me to be, and that's why I've been trying to ignore the feeling. But today is a different story. I'm on the shortest fuse known to man. I want some sort of adventure.

I feel like my life is at a standstill. I know that I'm not.

I'm back in school. I'm busy with Church. I've got great friends. I have a family that loves me.

I have no reason to feel so down.

But I do.

It's getting harder and harder to shake right now. I'm starting to believe that it's something physiological right now than emotional. And I want to overcome this, and there are days that are easier than others. Today is just not one of those good days. All I want to do is cry, kick, scream, yell, break things.. ugh!

I'm figuring that if I blog it, then it will relieve some of the emotional tension I am feeling. But I feel like I'll have to blog for hours and hours on end just to make myself feel better.

I would.. if I could.. but I can't.

I think a lot of it may have to do with the stress of the time crunch I am feeling due to my going back to school. It was really a shock to go back to school. I truly believed that it would be easy. Then, when I realized how much harder it really is, I downplayed it and blamed it on the fact that I hadn't been back to school in years. But now, I'm really feeling the crunch and it's really taking it's toll on me.

I really feel out of place and it's really starting to affect my morale about this course. I know that I just have to get used to it and work so much harder than anyone else, but I'm just so used to being at the top of my class, and learning everything so fast. It's a reality check and so humbling and frustrating at the same time.

I'm not handling this all well.. and I know that I just need some time.

I know I can get over this, and I don't want it to get too far before I find that I'm at the bottom of a pit again, struggling to get out...