I hate this...

So I really can't stand the way that I'm feeling right now.. it's like i'm lethargic.. i don't want to do anything.. i just want to sleep all day.. i'm too lazy to do anything... i don't feel anything.. my smiles are all fake.. i can't even try to smile without knowing i don't really want to..

I hate the uncertainty of life... i hate the unpredictability of it all... the only thing that is for certain is that we all die... between birth and death.. it's all a gamble... and i hate that.. i want to know what's really gonna happen.. if the decisions that i make in my life are good and what the reasons are for all that has happened to me... i don't like guessing.. i don't like it...

I know i should have total and complete faith in God.. and i do.. it's just sometimes... i'm human... i'm allowed to question.. and to hate.. and to not understand.. cuz when it all comes down to it.. i do believe that God has the best of intentions for me... its just that sometimes i get frustrated when i feel that things arent' going my way..

Wow.. i feel better... i guess venting is all that it took...