Is it all in the name of love?

Is there a point to be madly in love with someone, but be completely miserable with that person too?

Is it healthy?

I mean, if there is one thing.. just one thing.. that is stopping you from having a perfectly happy relationship and that one thing is so important that you can't just get over it or let it go.. and you're willing to endure the unhappiness so that you don't have to make him choose between the other thing and you.. is it worth it?

Is it?

Meow!

Disappate..

We are all still living in a smokey haze. It's not as difficult to breathe as it was before. We are all still hoping that the fires will be put out completely. There are so many people that have lost their homes and so many things.

It's hard to think of my life as complicated when you put it in perspective to those victims of the fire.

There are so many things I have to be thankful for that I can't just dwell over all the little minute facts of my life right now.

I have a home. I didn't have to evacuate. My home was in the clear the whole time. My only problem was smoke inhalation. At least I had a home to go to when I needed to escape the smoke.

I think that they have the fires under control and the weather is finally cooperating with them. I pray for the firefighters and all that they have been doing. I pray for their safety and I pray for their families. I don't know how I could sleep at night knowing that a loved one is out there in the fires.. ON PURPOSE.. to fight them off..

I admire the strength of those families.. I admire the strength of the firefighters..

If only I could be that strong..

Cloud of smoke.

I am living in a cloud of smoke.

Literally and metaphorically. Wierd. Isn't it?

San Bernardino (where I work) is covered in smoke. The smoke is coming down from the mountain and we are sitting in a big cloud of smoke. There is not even a breeze here, so the smoke is just sitting here. It's hard to breathe, my eyes are burning, my skin is drying. My head is hurting so bad.

They finally told us that we could go home if the smoke is getting to us. I most likely will be after I finish writing out my project report. I am getting dizzy each time I try to move my head.

My life feels like I'm immersed in a cloud of smoke.

I thought I was so sure in my decision. I thought it was finally the right thing to do. But I was wrong. I was so wrong and I would do anything to take it all back and to just be the way it was before.

But God has reasons as to why He puts these things in life. It was my conscious decision, but I know that my life is in His hands.. so.. I must have been steered to do this for a reason.

If I was meant to have him in my life, the God will find a way to bring him back. If God says that we have gone as far as we could, then I must accept what I have decided.

I can't change what I had done. I can't take it back and not expect the repercussions.

If I could take it back.. I know better what to do with it when I get it back..

It's never going to be perfect.. but I would like it to be Christ-centered.

A relationship thrives based off of love, communication and God. If those three very important aspects are there, then anything can happen. That's what I want... with whoever God decides I should share that with..

I offer it up to the Lord..

Don't stop til you get enough..

I just got back from my first year serving at the Cursillo retreat. As you know, I did the retreat last year. I absolutely loved it. It was so far one of the best experiences of my life. It changed my outlook on my relationship with God and how I express that in my daily life.

I feel so blessed to be able to share that experience with this years candidates. I wanted to make sure they had the same experience I did it last year. I hope I did them proud.

The fires around here are really crazy. I am close enough to smell the smoke and to get ashes rained down on my car. I am close enough to see all the smoke surrounding me.

But thank God I'm far enough at this point to worry about the house or evacuating. I am praying that it won't ever get to that point.

I do know several people that have had to evacuate and several people that have the strong possibilty that their home has been lost. I really hope that they didn't lose their house.

I'm praying for their safety and for the survival of their home. I'm also praying for the firefighters. They are risking their lives to save all of us. True heroes.

Prayer..

My prayer life sucks.

No, really it does. I truly feel like I don't pray as often as I should.

Granted, I feel like I'm in "constant communication" with God at all times. For the most part, I do have little conversations with God throughout the day. I usually find myself saying a quick prayer, or making a quick comment to God about things that are going on that very second.

But I can't tell you that I actually sit down, make quiet time, and meditate in prayer.

Hence.. my prayer life sucks.

How can I teach children the importance of prayer if I have a hard time practicing it myself.

Must.. be.. disciplined!

I told the kids today that there are always prayers you have in your mind. No matter how big or how small, you will always have a prayer.

You could either be asking for something or thanking God for something. Most of the time, kids only know about asking for something, but I wanted to let them know that prayer is also thanking God for something that they received or that they are thankful for.

I do that. For the most part, my prayers lately haven't even been about ME. They've been about my students, my friends, my family.. rarely for me anymore..

I need to start trying to take some time out of my day to thank God for all the things I have been blessed with. It's the least I could do for a life time of blessings He's been granting me..

Any suggstions on how I can go about making more time??

Another year starts.. today!

So.. today is the first day of my CCD class.

I'm excited, nervous, and hopeful.

I hope that this year will be better than any other the other years I have taught. This will be my third class. My first class was a blast, last years was questionable.. I don't know what to expect for this class.

I want to approach this class in a whole new light. I have learned so much from Cursillo and from listening to all those Catholic podcasts. I have a vision of how I want my class to be. I just don't know if that's the way it's going to end up. I'm praying that it will be close to what I'm imagining.. but who knows?

Well.. wish me luck.. and send a lil prayers my way!