Too tired for anything..

I'm feeling highly lethargic.. I dont want to do anything.. see anything.. hear anything.. or talk to anyone. I even told Justyn not to come over for awhile.. i'm just not in the mood to be someone's significant other right now.. I'm just so tired and inexplicably frustrated about i have no idea..

There really isn't anything that should be bothering me.. its not like he and i have started that whole 'religion' discussion... but i know that it might have something to do with it. He opened a can of worms and even though we haven't formally dealt with it.. i know it's bothering me. I know it's gonna start taking a toll on things... namely.. me..

I just don't feel like talking to anyone or interacting with anyone.. i'm so sick of things here at work.. at home.. with everything and everyone..

I know i'm not slipping again.. but i just feel like i really need to be left alone right now.. completely alone.. no one tell me what to do.. where to go.. who to see.. anything.. i just need to be alone.. i need some 'me-time' for awhile.. and i can't do that cuz there is so much going on that i need to be around everyone.. i just feel like i'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown and the more people i have around me.. the more i'm going to be pushed over the edge.. especially today..

There are things right now i can't explain because I don't even know it myself.. but i'm on the edge here.. i'm so close to just having a nervous breakdown i dont' know how to stop it. I just want to take the box cutters and just slash my wrists into shreds and just bang my head against the table to knock myself out forever. I just want to kill myself today.. so much.. it's never been stronger... i'm going over the edge and i dont' know why.. i reallydon't know why..

If i knew why.. maybe i could do something to change it.. but i can't cuz i have no idea of what's going on.. i dont' know what i'm doing or why i'm doing it or what i'm feeling or why i'm feeling it.. i just am..

I can't stop dozing off to sleep.. especially when i'm driving.. i can't stop sleeping here at work too.. or at home.. and i just snap at everyone.. even when they aren't doing anything wrong..

I don't understand what's going on in me.. or why i'm all of a sudden back to where i was a couple of months ago.. but it seems like it's so much worse..