Blogging.. in the middle of the night..

So.. i'm sitting in my room on my dad's laptop.. much better than sitting at the computer table in the living room.. maybe it's more quiet.. but i feel much better blogging this way than in the other room.. still kinda wierd to be doing so on someone else's computer.. but it's better than the clanging of the desktops keyboard..

I know.. I'm weird like that..

Sometimes.. I honestly wish I could say that I'm 100% back to normal.. but.. i just can't.. i feel like my body.. mind.. and spirit are still recovering.. my emotional being is still so tired from all that went on.. i mean.. it is getting better.. i usually recover quicker from thiss.. but this time.. man.. it's really left me in pieces..

My friend's merged myspace profiles with their boyfriends... I can't even imagine doing that right now.. plus.. it made me realize how much he and i have such different lives apart from each other.. i mean.. we'd like to do as many things together as we can.. but.. we really have different lives.. we still haven't merged yet.. after almost a year and a half.. we haven't merged.. not yet.. we have too many things that are separate..

And a lot of things we are still not ready to connect.. like.. myspace pages..

Too much of our lives is still separate.. even thought we want a lot of it to be together..

Will it ever change.. that's something we'll have to wait and see.. I'd like to see it change.. and maybe that's the next thing we can work on.. hopefully..