I just had to post this.. I think that Justyn needs this for Halloween this year.. what do you all think?!

Why I heart my fiance, by ArtsyTartsyViray

I heart my fiance because...

... he controls my porker tendencies.. cuz today.. at Starbucks.. when we were having lunch.. i had a sandwhich and a grande double blend mocha light frappacino.. and i saw those no-sugar added carrot loafs... and i was totally wanting to buy one.. knowing very well.. that the sandwhich and the frap were enough to satisfy my lunchy hunger... he stopped me.. and reminded me that i will start to complain about how fat i feel if i were to buy one and eat one with my lunch.. I HEART MY FIANCE..

... he understands and embraces the geek that I am.. because i am a full-blown "lostie" and "TLE-freak".. I HEART MY FIANCE..

... he took the car instead of the motorcycle to meet me for lunch.. ok.. that's partially cuz he didn't wanna drive an hour on a bike on a trip that should only take 15-20 minutes to take in a car.. and he wanted air conditioning.. but the mere fact that he said cuz i knew you'd be happy.. that made everything better.. I HEART MY FIANCE..

There you have it.. three reason's why Justyn is a good guy today.. and why I heart him lots!

Going nuts!

The show went well.. the really bad nerves are gone.. thank God.. now it's just that little "rush" feeling that I get before a performance.. thats the feeling I absolutlely love.. and that's the feeling that keeps me coming back to perform over and over and over again..

It's a rush.. really.. and for some people it's that feeling that really stops people from performing.. they don't like it.. but I LOVE that feeling.. and live for that feeling.. that's what draws me to the stage.. all the time..

I'ts the performer in me.. i guess.. its' in my blood.. i can't help it.. it's who i am..

But I don't have rehearsal now til next thursday.. that's just a pick up.. a refresher to remind us of the show.. then it's performance weekend all over again!

Then it's over.. so fast!!

Man.. can't wait til the next show!

Heck ya.. i'm nervous.

And then.. suddenly.. it all hit me..

WE OPEN THE SHOW TOMORROW..

Then.. we run for these two weeks.. and it's over.. I don't know.. maybe i'm just so used to Mummer's and the fact that they run shows for what seems like forever.. but not as long as they ran Justyn's show in Rialto..

I think when I first started.. Mummer's shows ran four weeks.. then.. they suddenly changed to three..

Rancho does two..

Rialto did a whopping FIVE weeks..

That was five weeks.. and more.. of not being able to spend much time with Justyn.. to not be able to go out.. to be bored at home.. while he's frolicking about on stage..

Now.. it's my turn..

I wish I were healthier.. i just don't feel up to par.. but i gotta do what i gotta do..

Argh.. the stress..

Why do I do this to myself..

Put myself in these situations that just add stress to my already stressful life..

Why don't I ever learn to just walk away from it all.. When will I realize that all i have to do is just walk away from it all..

Seriously.. how much more of this do i have to endure.. do i have to take.. before I just.. snap.. and just lose my mind completely.. i don't know.. i really don't know.. i want to feel like i can go on forever..

But my body is starting to get very sensitive to changes in my stress levels.. my stomach is in on it.. my head..

And all i want to do is sleep.. just.. sleep.. that's all.. is that too much to ask for??

When will God just wake me up.. and teach me to just.. walk away..

Tell Me Everything.
What is the last movie you watched in a theater?:	Um... wow.. this is really sad when you don't remember.. I know it wasn't our double feature Davinci and Xmen.. was it???
What is the last DVD you watched?:	Lost Season 1 Disc 2
What is the last book you read?:	I'm in the middle of Interview With A Vampire.. I had just finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
What is the last song you had stuck in your head?:	Something from Rodgers and Hammerstein.. no doubt..
If you had to sing in public, what would you sing?:	Anything from the musical "The Last Five Years"
What is your pet peeve?:	Being bored
Do you smoke?:	Nope
Do you drink alcohol?:	On occasion
Do you do any recreational drugs? Elaborate if you like.:	Nope
What is the last thing you Googled?:	Um.. something about the tv show LOST
When is the last time you were in a library?:	Long time.. since I got into booksfree.com.. i hadn't needed to..
Name any pets that you have.:	None.
Name any siblings that you have.:	One brother.. he shall remain nameless..
Who is your favorite relative?:	My kiddies!!
What is your favorite childhood memory?:	Dancing.. on stage..
What is your scariest memory?:	Going to bed at night when i was younger..
When is the last time you were sick?:	A couple of months ago.. knock on wood!
When is the last time you went to the doctor?:	In april..
When is the last time you had your vision checked?:	Two years ago.. shoot.. i need to do that..
When is the last time you had your hearing checked?:	Many... many.. years ago.. maybe i should get that checked..
Do you know your blood type?:	B positive..
Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.?:	Occasionally.. not since lately cuz they said my hematocrit was low..
Ever been in the Emergency Room?:	When i was really really young..
Ever broken a bone?:	Fractured a finger trying to catch a bowling ball.. don't ask..
Ever had surgery?:	Ya.. to take out an ingrown toe nail.. and to remove my wisdom teeth..
Ever spent overnight in the hospital?:	Ya.. when i had pneumonia at a young age..
Ever visited someone else in the hospital?:	Lots of people..
Ever put someone else in the hospital?:	Not that i know of..
What achievement are you most proud of so far?:	Graduating college.. all the dancing and performing I've done.. being on a tv show.. even if it was just as background.. i got a lot of coverage.. yay!
What would you go back and do differently?:	I'd do much better in college..
What is the last thing you bought for yourself?:	Nothing fun.. just necessities.. like.. FOOD!
What is the last present you received?:	Um.. the lil seahorse justyn got me from Disneyland..
What is the last present you gave someone else?:	Um... my love.. hee hee..
What is the best present you have ever received?:	His love.. that's right!
What is the best present you have ever given?:	My heart.. hee hee.. i'm a romantic..
Have you ever bought anything on eBay? If so, what?:	CDs.. books.
Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If so, what?:	Nope..
Do you have an Amazon wish list?:	I used to.. but then i ended up buying them all..
Have you ever used anyone else's wish list to buy a gift?:	Nope..
What is the best surprise you have ever had?:	June 9th, 2006.. when i reached into my pocket and found "the box"
What is the last surprise you had?:	June 9th, 2006..
What is your most prized posession?:	My kiddies.. Justyn.. and my laptop..
Have you ever had roommates?:	Nope
Have you ever lived alone?:	Nope
Which do you prefer? Why?:	I wouldn't know..
What is on the wall to your left?:	The refrigerator..
What is on the wall to your right?:	The phone..
What is next to your bed?:	Lots of stuff.. but i'm not in my room..
What is on your bathroom sink?:	Um.. nothing..
Have you ever looked in someone's medicine cabinet?:	Ya.. cuz i needed something and i was at my cousin's house anyway.. so it's cool..
Have you ever stolen anything from someones medicine cabinet?:	No!
Have you ever been robbed?:	Yes.. our house was.. scary!
Have you ever been cheated on?:	I think so.. i think emails that elude to it.. are proof enough..
Have you ever cheated? Ever get caught?:	I cheated.. but i never got caught.. and i doubt he reads my postings or whatever.. so i guess he'll never know..
Have you ever been in love?:	I am in love..
Are you in love now?:	Um.. that's what i said..
Is someone in love with you?:	He better be.. he asked to marry me!
Are you in a relationship with someone?:	Obviously..
When did you last go on a date?:	Oh geez.. we've been so busy lately.. it's more just "hanging out"
Ever kiss someone on the first date?:	Yes..
Ever sleep with someone on the first date?:	Not the first date.. maybe the first week..
Ever had a one night stand?:	Nope.. well.. nope..
Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose?:	Haha.. no.. but i have given someone a different name.
Ever been given a wrong phone number?:	Not that i know of.. i never call them..
When is the last time someone turned you down?:	Um... I dunno..
When is the last time you turned someone down?:	Um.. I dunno..
When is the last time you lied to someone?:	Don't ask..
What is the last lie you were told?:	Don't know..
What's the strangest thing you have ever witnessed first hand?:	An elephant head in the large necropsy lab.. SCARY!
What scares you the most?:	Elephant heads in the large necropsy room.. hahah!
What makes you happy?:	My kiddies.. and Justyn..
What makes you sad?:	Missing my kiddies and Justyn..
When is the last time you cursed out loud?:	Yesterday..
When is the last time you laughed out loud?:	Yesterday.. when Justyn "tickle attacked" me..
When is the last time you cried?:	Yesterday.. when Justyn "tickle attacked" me..
When is the last time you cried in front of someone else?:	Yesterday.. when Justyn "tickle attacked" me..
When is the last time you wanted to hit something?:	A couple of days ago..
When is the last time you did hit something?:	A couple of days ago.. i hit my bed..
Ever literally bang your head against the wall in frustration?:	No.. but i've wanted to..
Ever hurt yourself on purpose?:	Ya.. but not for a while..
Ever thought about killing yourself?:	Used to.. but not so much lately..
Ever tried killing yourself?:	Nope
Ever seen a psychiatric ward?:	Nope
Ever been put in a psychiatric ward?:	Nope
When is the last time you had to fill a prescription?:	Don't remember
Do you take any medication regularly?:	Nope
What is the last thing you did that you didn't want to do?:	Work
What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do?:	Dunno..
Do you like the way you look most of the time?:	Most of the time.. ish..
Do you use any bath/beauty/grooming products?:	Ya.
Do you have a product that you consider a necessity? What is it?:	Shampoo, conditioner, soap.. toothpaste.. toothbrush.. you know.. the basics..
Do you wear cologne/perfume/aftershave regularly?:	Body spray if i work with a lot of stinky stuff..
What do you consider your biggest weakness?:	Babies
What do you consider your greatest strength?:	Love
What would you say your personal motto is?:	Life is a cabaret
Who would you say your personal hero is?:	God
If you could live in a different time, would you? When?:	Ya.. a time when money wasn't so important
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?:	Orange County
Why do you get up in the morning?:	Cuz i have to go to work
Do you go to sleep easily and/or on time?:	I go to sleep easily.. but never on time..
Do you sleep through the night?:	Yes
Do you snore?:	Justyn says i do.. but i think he's lying..
Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else?:	Someone else..
How many pillows do you sleep with?:	Lots.. to simulate sleeping with someone else..
Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets?:	any air.. and blankets..
When is the last time someone else slept in your bed?:	Long time..
How often do you change your sheets?:	Every few months..
How often do you do laundry? Do you use a laundromat?:	I try to do it every week.. at home..
How often do you vacuum?:	I don't.. the roomba does that for us
How often do you dust?:	I don't.. my mom does that..
Do you wash dishes by hand or do you have a dishwasher?:	Both
What is your favorite way to kill time at home?:	Laptop
What is your favorite way to kill time when waiting for someone?:	iPod
What is your favorite way to kill time when traveling?:	Book
What is your favorite travel destination?:	Vegas!
When is the last time you were on a plane?:	I was.. seven years old!
When is the last time you were on a boat?:	Early June.. at the Pirate Faire
What is the most 'extreme' activity you have ever done?:	Dunno.. cant' really think of anything..
What do you want to do before you die?:	Be a wife... mother.. grandmother..
How do you want to check out?:	Peacefully..
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A hundred million miracles..

Oh geez...

I'm kinda sleepy.. but not really.. maybe it's more lazy..

I'm gonna go see my sweetheart today.. for lunch..

I really wanna be with him right now..

I don't know what it is.. loneliness... pathetic-ness.. i don't know.. is it pathetic to really wanna spend time with my fiance right now.. especially when i feel he really needs my support.. I don't know.. i don't think it is..

I wish it were just so easy to say "i'm spending the night at Justyns" and not have anyone have a hissy fit over it all..

I'm 25.. if i wanna spend the night at my fiance's house.. i should be allowed.. and it's not like we're gonna have sex or anything.. it was just the mere fact of being with each otehr while we slept.. because i know he needs me.. and i.. need him too.. and it feels so good to wake up next to that special person you love so much..

I don't know..

Wishing.. hoping.. thinking.. praying...

I think I need to pray more.. I don't know.. I just feel like.. maybe if I lived a more "religious" life.. that.. things would probably not seem as bad as they are.. i might learn to appreciate the things I do have in my life..

I mean.. I do.. a lot.. for my church.. and like i recently told justyn.. i'm pretty sure i'll end up owning that church when i get older.. and ya.. i like doing those things..but when i'm done with those things.. i'm not living a "religious" life..

I don't have patience for many things.. don't quite "turn the other cheek" with people that piss me off..

I don't know..

What do you think?!

The smells!

Ok.. so if it isn't poop.. it's farkin' drag swabs.. argh.. and that's like.. chick poop.. eww..

What is up with bacteria and their need to reside in poop-ish places..

Then.. if they didn't i wouldn't have to bother with smelly stuff.. and i'd be sweet smelling all the live-long day...

Argh..

Good thing I bring body spray now.. cuz ewwy nasty!

Hmm.. three o'clock.. two more hours of work.. and then.. it's the weekend.. i wish it were the other way around.. that.. work was only two days a week.. and the weekend lasted five.. then everyone would be well rested.. broke.. but well rested..

And no one would be stressed..

And no one would depend on caffeine..

And no one would drive tired..

And the world will be a much peaceful place..

Cuz everyone would be alert and listening.. and there would be no misunderstandings.. and no wars becasue there would be no misunderstandings.. and everyone would be more pleasant.. so there would be no need for fighting to get your point accross..

OMG.. i think I just figured out how to achieve world peace!!

Sweet!

The world is spinning.. cuz i'm hungry..

Today is a slow day.. only because there really isn't anything to do right now.. and the fact that I haven't eaten.. and i won't be able to eat until i get home tonight.. well.. at 5pm.. it's making the day run really slow..

It doens't help that i'm really sleepy too.. it doens't help that i'm not really in the mood to do much either..

I do know that i'm gonna go home.. to my HOME home.. not to justyn's house.. to HOME.. and take a nap..

In three house.. sheesh.. can the day GO any slower??