Monday, July 09, 2007

When the world.. explodes..

My dark night of the soul..

If I could.. I go to church everyday. If I could.. If I had the time, I'd visit the Blessed Sacrament everyday.. at least until I feel like God is with me again..

Yes.. my dark night of the soul.. when I feel most abandoned by the one that I put my full faith and trust in.. I know that I am not abandoned. In fact, I am sure that it is this time in my life that He is probably most closest to me.

It always seem to feel that He isn't there with me. I know that couldn't be further from the truth. He is always there, holding my hand, watching over me and guiding me. But I still feel so alone.

It's hard to make myself believe otherwise. And I think that is why I really have that need to visit the Church as often as possible. I think that is why I have this deep longing to visit the Blessed Sacrament. I just don't have the time, nor the availability.

My parish has exposition on the first Friday of the month and it's passed already.. so I have to wait til next month.. there are parishes in Riverside with perpetual adoration.. but I don't have time.. but I think that i should one of these days.. I really think I should..

I just need to be in that physical presense.. maybe that will help.. I just dont know..

I pray that this dark night passes soon..

2 comments:

Dr.John said...

Others are also praying that your dark night will end soon. It will end. Life will get good again. What you are going through is a grief experience.

Anonymous said...

I need a martini!