I get this way EVERY year. I feel like my life is never how I wanted it to be. In all honesty, my life is not up to ME to decide anyway. But I can't help but feel like such a failure.
The one thing I had always prayed for since I was young, as young as elementary school.. was to have a husband and children. I had ALWAYS prayed that. I had always wanted that. That has been the longest dream I had ever had.. the longest "want" I have ever wanted. I always felt I was destined to be the best mother and wife on the face of the earth..
Here I am.. at soon-to-be 27.. single... with no future of marriage..
Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong to not deserve that sort of life?
I'm starting to conclude that I will forever be "the single one" amidst a sea of married friends.. ALL my friends are married now.. ALL of them.. so when we go out.. it's either I have to tag along my ex (who is still a good friend of mine) or go by myself.. there is not prospective "new guy" in the picture.. there's nothing.. but myself..
It's getting harder and harder to believe that God is still "molding out that guy that is perfect for me.." like my mother always tries to tell me..
Maybe marriage isn't the right path for me.. but why give me such a strong desire for it???
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My two cents:
1. You're not even 27 yet ;-). I'm about to turn 29. Only one of my friends is getting married soon, the rest are still single. My mom was 30 when she married my father. There are lots of successful couples out there who didn't meet each other until they passed 30 (and you're not even close to that yet). Point being- you're still young and there are tons of opportunities out there.
2. The more you fear something will happen, the more likely it will happen. The less thought you give that fear, the less likely it will happen and become reality. Well that's been my experience at least.
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