I don't know how to do it..

I'm tired.. maybe I should sleep early.

I read an article in a magazine.. I forgot which.. that said that people that tend to get less than about five hours of sleep tend to gain weight.

Gasp!

They said that lack of sleep supresses some sort of hormone or something that slows down the metabolism and that is when you start gaining weight. Maybe i'll read it again and blog more about it when I actually know the details.

My week off I should start going to bed earlier.. and I think that is what I'll do now.. I am kinda sleepy.. why fight it.. there isn't anything uber important going on anyway.. right?

There isn't much..

There isn't much to say today.. not that there is so much to say any other day.. but.. I felt like leaving an entry just because.. it's fun.

I am officially on a week break from school. I just finished my.. fourth.. fifth.. class towards my MBA.. it's fun.. I guess.. I'm still trying to decide if this really something I want to pursue afterwards. I'm not as enthusiastic about it as I was taking all my science classes. But I'm going to keep on going.. cuz I don't want to quit. I've been getting by.. why stop now?

I mean.. it's really only been a few classes.. maybe I just haven't found something that really peaks my interest.

My next class is finance and accounting. Math.

Now I'm curious how to do a math class.. online..

I guess we'll find out next week!

After this finance and accounting class, which should end in mid December.. I get a break for the holidays. No school for about two and a half weeks. That's going to be sooo great!

Other than this week off.. there isn't really anything else going in my life.. my relationship is.. going.. work is.. going.. life is just.. going..

I'm happy.. healthy.. and blessed.. so I really can't complain..

And we meet in the sky..

Six months is enough for a person to know how you kinda feel about them.. right?

I mean.. regardless of how much you see a person.. right?

And it's not like we hardly see each other and also hardly ever talk or anything.. cuz we talk everyday..

And I only said I didn't know.. cuz.. maybe I did know.. but until he said he didn't.. then.. it make me realize that maybe I don't know either.. and why should I feel like I know.. if he doesn't.. how would that really make me feel?

But six months is a long time to not really know..

And waiting another six months is waiting a whole year for someone to figure out what they want and how they feel.. and do I really want to subject myself to that?

Ugh.. why did this all just take a turn for the scary??!

Yawn.. yawn.. yawn..

I think I need to lie down and take another rest. A nap would sound really good right now. But I want to do homework. Ugh.. and I forgot that I have laundry to take care of.. ugh..

Ever feel that there is never enough time to get all the stuff you need to do.. done?

Ever feel like you wish there were eight days a week instead of seven.. or 25 hours in a day.. instead of 24..

Could you imagine how much more work would be done if there was one extra hour.. or just one extra day..

Could you imagine???

It makes me ill..

I got sick.

I don't know if it's all the work from this year's cursillo weekend that wore me down.. and then I got a flu shot.. and now.. I'm all fever-ish..

I'm taking another day off this week.. ugh.. I took Monday off to rest from the Cursillo weekend.. and now I'm taking tomorrow of to rest because I am sick.. I've been battling a high fever and my head feels like it's going to explode.. it also hurts to move because my body is so achy.

Flu?

Boo.

I shouldn't have gotten my flu shot then.. I guess..




Minus the large hat... this is how I feel right now..

Prioritize..

I am finding myself less and less happy with my workplace situation.

Let me preface this by saying.. I LOVE MY JOB. I love the work I do. I am in the bacteriology department of a veterinary diagnostics lab. I love the work. It's exactly everything I enjoyed when I was in school and what I had always dreamed myself doing after I graduated.

My supervisor believes in my work. The lab director believes in my work.

It's the rest of the people in my department.. my peers.. that seem to leave me feeling rather unappreciated and unimportant.

The constantly find ways to try to make me look bad in front of my supervisor.. telling her things that I am not the only one guilty of doing.. exaggerating things that I seem to be doing..

Luckily.. my supervisor has been able to see through all this and has seemed to take my side for a lot of these occurances. It got so bad at one point I actually started crying in front of my supervisor.

I am constantly left out of things.. and they all seem to treat me as if I am a level below them.. even the lab assistant.. which I am ranked higher than.. treats me as if I am below her..

I love where I work.. but the situation with these people make me really consider looking for another job.

I've talked to my supervisor about this and nothing seems to change.. what should I do?

You can call me selfish..

Or just over-protective of my work..

I don't like when people invade my workspace.

I don't like when people criticize my work area. It's not sloppy. It's spread out.. I take a lot of room.. maybe cuz I need certain areas to represent certain parts to what I am doing.

Don't question my area. It gets done.. the work gets done.

Don't sit there and pretend you are so much better than me because you feel your workspace is more managable than mine. I get just as much work done as everyone else.

Ugh.. sometimes I feel like I really don't belong in this facility.. that the people and I don't mesh well..

But I love the work.. I love what I am doing here.. and it should be enough to keep me here.. but sometimes.. I just don't know.

There's a song..

Sometimes.. there's a song that will just totally bury you inside of it.. and you just want it to cover every bit of your being.. you want to live it.. love it.. and embrace it as your own.. you wish to identify with every word.. every note.. every turn in the melody..

This song.. this song written by Scott Alan.. called "The Journey.." is definitely one of them..

It seems to be the quintessential wedding song.. and I pray that one day.. I will be able to use it.. sing it.. have it represent the love I have found with my husband.. and the life that we will share for the rest of our lives.. and hold sacred the vows we make in front of God and our family and friends..

Gosh.. this song.. is.. amazing!

THE JOURNEY

Josh

I could stay in this forever
Enfold you nightly in my arms
Sing you lullaby’s whenever
I’ll give to you all that I can

You will never have to worry ‘bout the future
I will make sure everyday that I provide
I will hold you through the night
Until the sky turns light
The journey now begins, with you and I

Jill

The love we created has exceeded
Any measurements I’ve ever known
Brought joy to me, when it was needed
It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I will make sure you are reminded that I love you
I will walk miles just to hold you by my side
I’ll protect you while you sleep
Make every dream complete
The journey now begins, with you and I

Josh
I’ll treat everyday with you like it’s the beginning

Jill
I will be your strength in times when you are weak

Josh
I will never be to far away from you

Josh and Jill
There is nothing I won’t do

Josh
You will never have to worry ‘bout the future

Jill
I’ll make sure you are reminded that I love you

Josh
I will make sure everyday that I provide

Jill
I’ll walk miles just to hold you by my side

Josh
I will hold you through the storms

Josh
Anything to keep you warm

Josh and Jill
The journey now begins, with you and I
You and I

It's a duet sung by Josh Strickland and some girl named Jill.. I can't remember the last name.. that's why their names are there..

I can sink into this song.. and listen to it for an eternity...

Pace yourself..

My friend just told me she feels that this week is progressing rather slowly..

I told her that it felt like it's zoomed by and I have not gotten anything done for class!

She says that my boyfriend said the same thing.. that this week was zooming by fast.

Hahah.. him and I haven't really discussed the pace of the week lately.. so.. I guess we're on the same page..

School makes time fly by.. can you believe I'm already on week four for this current class.. it seems like yesterday that I was barely starting up again.. sheesh.. time does fly when in school..

I hope I find the time to finish all that needs to be finished and i'm not cramming on a Monday night frantic to finish..

I have been getting better at focusing and not surfing the internet as much while reading or writing.. so maybe I'll get faster at finishing the tasks at hand for class..

We could only hope!

Is it the weekend already?

It's only Tuesday!

This weekend is "the bee's" first birthday. "The bee" is my cousin's daughter. She's gonna be a year old.. man.. does time fly.. especially when it comes to kids!

Seems like only yesterday we were visiting my cousin cuz she just gave birth.. now.. that baby is going to be a year old!

I guess it's true what they say about babies.. that they grow up so fast and that you have to cherish every moment you have with them because you can never get those years back..

Then they turn into kids that give you headaches.. and you wish they were babies again..

Hunny!

October.. 6th!

Well.. this weekend was busy.. I was at my cousin's house for Friday and Saturday.. and I was helping babysit my cousin's three kids. I love those kids but they are a handful! Seven, four, and three years old... they'd drive anyone nuts.. but at the end of the day.. I miss them.. especially when they get sleepy and then they are all cuddly and "angelic.."

I know.. the picture has NOTHING to do with today's topic.. but I just thought it'd be fun to put pictures in my postings again..

That was from the last time I was at Disneyland.. I think it was the first weekend of September.. I went for my birthday and for my godson's birthday.. that was fun.. again.. the same three kids.. the same three handfuls.. but I love them.. and I guess that's the true meaning of unconditional love...

Hmmm.. I guess it's a "training course" for whenever.. if ever.. I have children of my own..

Our thoughtful spot..

It's October.. time to start financially preparing for christmas and kiddie's birthdays.. because they all seem to come around at once.. craziness..

This year has definitely been a blur.. but a fun blur.. opening another chapter in my life.. and closing so much and leaving that behind..

Well.. I guess I better get back to reading my chapters for class..

I'm starting to believe that this "business thing" is not for me.. but it's kinda too late to turn back now.. I've got at least 4 classes under my belt.. and that means I have about seven more.. so why quit now.. it'll be a financial burden.. but I know I can handle it.. when the time comes.. I just hope that this does work out for the best in the end.. cuz right now.. I'm thinking that I'd rather be a lab rat.. than a business person..

OH well..