Funny how some songs just stick!

So.. today is Cinco de Mayo.. and it's wierd.. that the song i learned from elementary school about this.. still sticks in my head.. and i think it'll be in my head for the rest of my life.. sad..

Cinco de mayo is holiday time..
Holiday time in Mexico..
Cinco de mayo is holiday time...
To the fiesta we'll go.. go.. go..

And true to my nature.. that is the only thing that runs in my head.. the only section of the song i know.. and the only section that plays like a broken record player..

Someone shoot me..

Ha..

Anyway.. i woke up happy today.. well.. slightly aggitated cuz of the way my dream ended.. it's on my myspace blog.. but.. my dream ended with me knowing i had to clean up and rearrange a mess made by my parents..

but i'm happy cuz i had a good dream about my boyfriend.. it's a bout time.. maybe now the dreams will change..

I love him.. a lot.. and i hate the fact that i'm having dreams about him leaving me.. maybe.. in a way.. i'm still scared it could happen.. but it could easily happen to me to.. i could easily leave him just as easily as he could leave me.. and at this very point in my life.. i don't want to leave him.. and i know that in the future.. i still won't want to leave him.. i should be trusting in him enough to know that he feels the same way.. and for the most part.. i do..

It's just that.. you know me.. i've always had a hard time trusting people and trusting the good in people.. and expecting things from people..

I mean.. that's part of it all.. i want to be comfortable in expecting that he'll follow through on his word of being with me for the rest of our lives.. i want to be comfortable in expecting that he does love me whole-heartedly.. and for the most part.. i do..

I don't know why I am still waiting for that other shoe to drop.. and for everything to fall apart again.. i mean.. we're working so hard to keep things stable.. and i believe that we can do it.. i hate myself for anticipating.. and i'm trying not to.. but.. i don't know.. i keep waiting for it to happen.. even though i know we have a choice of falling into the same hole.. or.. walking away from it..

We've chosen to walk away from it and not make the same mistakes again.. i just hope that.. nothing brings us back..