Title?

I dont' know what to title this.. i don't even know why I'm here on blogging.. i should be getting ready cuz i have to go out today again and take care of my kiddies..

I want kids.. here.. a list of things i want.. but can't have.. at least for now...

1. Kids... well.. at least not yet.. i have to find a husband first..

2. A husband.. i'm in a relationship.. that's close to finding one.. i'd like to think that the person i am with is the one that will eventually be my husband.,. but no one really knows the future.. do they?

3. A place of my own.. that.. i am working on.. you'll see... i've made my decision.. married or not.. i am moving out within the next year or two..

4. Stability.. something that i thought i was close to having.. but was quickly taken away from me.. i would give anything to be stable again...

5. Time... this is something that i can probably never have.. once it goes,.. it can't ever be taken back.. so i must use the time i have effectively..

I guess thats all i can think of.. these are the things that i have that are important to me...

1. Love.. there is no doubt in my mind that i have love and that i am giving love.. i just pray to God that love will bring me #2 of my list of things i want..

2. Happiness.. yes.. i know i complain about not really having that.. but.. looking at my life.. evaluating what i have... and who i am with.. i am happy.. i am happy with him and with certain things.. i am starting to believe that no one can ever achieve total satisfaction and happiness in life.. because once you attain that.. what else is there to strive for? You lose your drive at life if you find yourself completely happy.. i guess...

3. Money.. and I have that.. what i need to learn is how to utilize it better.. so that I can achieve my #3... and it will happen..

Well.. i best be going now..

You know what i need more than ever lately.. Justyn. I really don't know why.. i just need him to be there for me.. i'm going thorugh something inside me that i don't quite understand and it only quiets down when he's with me.. i don't know.. i have to go so i can't elaborate.. maybe later.. on another blog site..