Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Now.. why did that just shock me?!?!

So.. i'm thinking the same thing.. why is it shocking that he wants to do the same thing.. is it because if we both move out of our homes.. neither of us will ever be able to save enough money to do what we ultimately wish to do in the future???

It's scares me to move out because that will just set me back hundreds.. if not thousands of dollars that i could have used to help save up to pay for our ultimate goal.. and so if he moves out.. we would be in the same predicament.. we could be using the money that the both of us would be spending on individual places to live.. on a house together.. a ceremony and a house.. cuz.. ultimately.. that's what we want.. right???

I guess that's it.. and i'm not taking it back.. and i'm not going to feel badly for it.. that's how i feel.. and that's why.. no matter how much i want to.. i'm not going to.. at least not anytime soon.. i really have to see the direction the relationship is going before i can make that final decision to break away from home... and i know i'm not going to see the direction within the month.. or within the year.. but i need to see something.. and right now.. i feel like this could go somewhere.. so i'm making the sacrifice to stay.. even if it kills me..

But i'm slowly breaking out onto my own... i'm off my parents insurance.. i have my own car.. the only things they are really paying for is my gas and my phone bill.. as soon as i get my credit cards under control.. i'll take over my gas.. $200/mo.. and climbing... but if i keep my credit card spending down and use my debt card more often.. i should be able to handle that.. i make enough money.. i have to learn to use it wiser..

After i take over my gas.. then i can do my phone... then i'll be totally independent and they can't use the 'gas rule' on me.. then.. we'll see about my living place..

But now.. i have to get my finances under control.. learn to budget more..

I'm not going to take back that shock i felt.. that was genuine and i'm not sorry for it.. for once in my life.. i'm taking charge and i'm not taking any of these feelings back..

1 comment:

imfreenow.blogspot.com said...

Hi Artsy,

I'm sorry you are having troubles but I will pray for you to havae courage, to make the right decisions - just rememeber it won't be worth moring out un less you have no choice, like you're being physically abused or some horrible thing. If it's just negotiating things that are annoying, it's not worth that huge cost financially. Everything has a price. Immaturity tells you that you can have all the things you want at no price. If you are going to save all that money you may have to put up with things you don't like at home.

You sound like a substantial and wonderful human being. God bless you. I have a website too - gofreenow.blogspot.com