I'm in the mood for love..

Committed.. in love.. madly in love..

I truly think.. looking back.. that Justyn is the only guy I have ever been completely honest with about my feelings for him.. sure.. i told my first boyfriend that i loved him.. and at that point in my life.. i thought that we were going to get married.. i was crazy in love with him.. well.. crazy in love with what i had known to be love back then.. completely different now..

But ya.. in as much as i had felt for him.. i even had a hard time saying that i misssed him when he wasn't around..

I remember the first time he went on vacation and he had called me from whereever he was.. i guess he left the phone all disappointed cuz he would tell me that he missed me.. and i would jsut say.. 'ya'.. ok..

I had a hard time opening up and admitting my feelings for that once person..

I guess it had a lot to do with the fact tath i was taught to NEVER let the guy you were with know how crazy you are about him.. cuz he'll take advantage of that and step all over you and go after your sex..

But with my second boyfriend.. we weren't really "committed" so there were no real feeling there to really talk about..

The guy before Justyn.. I actually told him that I liked him.. and that was the extent of my opening up to him.. obviously.. it didn't work.. whatever..

But with Justyn.. i have been able to admit to him that i am completely head over heels in love with him.. and not flinch or get scared taht he might step all over me..

Like he had said.. our relationship is strongly based on words and emotion and actions of love.. not physical lust.. and taht is what i cherish the most about the relationship.. that knowing that just sitting in his room.. watching tv.. with his arm around my waist.. or my head on his shoulder.. is enough to let each other know that we love each other deeply..

Looking into his eyes.. and smiling.. says a lot more about how i feel about him.. than him shoving his tongue down my throat.. although.. that can be nice to.. in a loving sorta way..

So.. i'm blessed.. and lucky to have him in my life..