Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Your fears.. stirred up my fears..

He loves me.. and he wants to marry me.. I love him.. and my God.. do I want to marry him.. He's the only one I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with.. he has no idea how much I truly love him.. just as he says I have no idea how much he truly loves me..

But he has fears.. and doesn't think he'll ever be "ready" for that big step.. I understand that it's one thing to want something.. but it's another thing to actually follow through and do it.. yet.. he's scared that he'll be too scared to go through with it.. or that he'll never be read to go through with it..

I have fears too.. but with him having these thoughts.. I should be the strong one and comfort him..

I fear what could happen when we do get engaged.. I don't want the same thing that happened the first time to happen again.. and.. what if I'm not ready for a marriage.. I mean.. I do want to get married.. especially to him.. but.. am I really ready for a marriage.. really ready??

But.. is anyone really completely ready? I mean.. there's always that initial doubt that they feel they can really do it.. it's when that fear and doubt take over.. that people leave their fiance at the altar..

And everything about love and commitment is a risk.. I have to jump at that risk.. knowing that the mistakes we made the first time around won't happen again..

Time.. and prayer.. time.. and prayer..

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