With the ups.. comes the downs..

I can't stop crying cuz I know this can't be it. But there's a feeling deep in my heart this is.. this is it.. for us.. this is the last time I'll see him.. the last time I can ever tell him I love him.. and the last time i might ever love someone enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him..

I don't want it to end.. but part of me says that this time.. it just might have to..

Love is supposed to conquer all.. why isn't it conquering this?

Is marriage and family and life-long love just something I wasn't meant to have? If that's the case.. why give me the possibilities in the first place?

I love him.. and I will always love him.. I was willing to walk thru fire.. I would have given my life if need be.. I love him that much.. he was my other half.. the one I would be spending the rest of my life with.. I would have fought for him.. but when is enough..enough..

It wasn't supposed to end this way.. we were supposed to get married.. have children.. have grandchildren.. grow old together and live happily ever after.. we both wanted that.. that is what we were aiming for.. we have enough love for that.. why can't we do it?

Why did the Lord have to give him to me.. and take him away like this.. what was the point to all this if it were going to end like this..

"People come into our lives for a reason.. bringing something we must learn.."

What have I learned? Never to fall in love.. never to let anyone in anymore.. that can't be right.. that can't be what God wanted me to get out of this..

I know the tears will eventually stop falling. I know the pain will eventually go away.. but I'm left with these scars.. deeply rooted in my heart.. and I dont know if i can ever get past that..

When you give your heart to someone.. you never expect it back..

If you're willing to do anything to make it work.. do you do so.. or just finally give up.. when love is supposed to conquer all..