Well.. it's happened..
He and I had "the talk.." and that could never be good.
I mean.. we both kinda knew what we were getting into when we first started this.. long distance.. limited time.. ultimately.. we either make.. or break.. when the time came.. if we "make" then one of us or both of us.. pretty much has to uproot their lives for the sake of the relationship.. if neither of us are really willing.. then.. we have no choice but to "break".. right?
Five months..
I guess it's sorta early to really expect one of us to be willing to uproot for the other..
But still..
Scary thought to think I may actually lose this guy in the end..
I really don't want to. I may have said that about pretty much every single guy I've been with.. don't we all?
I want to say he's different from all the other guys.. but I say that all the time too..
I will say this..
At this point in my life.. I know he is who I want to be with.. whether it be for the long term or the short term.. I know I want to be with him.. no one else.. and that's that. It scares me to think he could just be another one to add to my list of failed relationships.. but if that's the way it's gonna be.. do I really have any other choice?
I just pray that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.. that we find our answers.. and that i might hopefully find the "happily ever after" i have always been searching for.. whether it be with him.. or anyone else..
Pray.
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3 comments:
Having uprooted myself several times for different reasons, I feel your pain. I left college with my parents expecting me to move back home. Instead I moved to a city I didn't know to be with my boyfriend (he was living with his parents). I ended up marrying him years later, but my circumstances were different. I didn't have a career yet, and all my college friends were going in different directions. I had nothing to lose.
Perhaps you can both come up with pro/con columns of moving and staying where you are. Sometimes if you and your SO can see things in black and white you understand better what the other is sacrificing by moving. If someone does relocate then the person who didn't will have to realize what was at stake for the other person.
Once I had an opportunity to relocate to be with a guy. When we had these types of talks it became apparent that he didn't want me to move because he was not so confident that we could stay together, and there was more for me to lose by moving. Our long-distance relationship was effectively over after that.
There is always second guessing in life, but you know that what you are given has been given to you by God.
Prayers.
Don't count it out yet. Things and circumstances change.
I wouldn't put all of your eggs into one basket just yet. It sounds like your pursuit of happiness may be driven by something else (i.e. insecurity, dependence) and that will only cloud your judgement. Perhaps if you were around this person 24/7 day after day, your perception may change. My advice is to play it cool and not over-analyze the situation. You don't have to be in a hurry, life is not a race.
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