Aggitated..

Why does it seem like everything I do.. think.. or say.. pisses her off? Why is there no pleasing her? I am not out there to do the complete opposite of anything she says.. but i do have my own mind and i would like to do my own things once and awhile..

I do nothing but do as she says... i hardly ever question a damn thing she tells me to do.. i compromise all i want to do for the sake of avoiding her going off on me.. does she not ever see that? Does she not ever see that I bend over frickin' backwards to just avoid conflict...

What the hell have I done that is so friggin' wrong in her eyes that makes every other move I make just a mortal sin? I don't understand why she has to pull such an attitude on me and then justify it with the whole 'unconditional love' speech..

Do I have to leave this house for her to realize how valuable I am? I have not done anything wrong.. every thing I have done has only been to stop her from questioning me.. all the lies i have to tell.. just to avoid confict..

If she was open to everything and allowed me to tell her anything.. like she always says i should.. then maybe i wouldn't have to go around and tell half stories about certain things.. and then when i do tell her the real story of whta i did she never believes.. well.. she never believes me about anything anyway..

She isn't better than me in anyway.. we both have a bachelors degree.. the only difference now is that she is older than me... i am in the same place she was in at her age.. no less.. i am not behind her in anyway.. why does she continue to treat me like i'm 2 inches tall..

God.. I just wish You would show me some mercy.. let her see taht I am not a bad person... show her that I am her daughter and I am not a little girl.. show her that I am a full-fledged adult with a mind of my own.. show her that I want to live like everyone else..


God.. please.. i beg You.. please.. help me.. help her.. help us.. please.. please.. please.. please...