What do you do when your too human to forgive and forget?

What do you do when you want to follow Christ and emulate Him, but your humanity gets in the way?

What happens when that one person you never thought would hurt you, does?

What happens when you want to forgive, and you know you forgave, but you know you'll have a hard time forgetting?

Who's fault would it be if I can't forget? His? Mine?

Sigh.. it's just hard, I mean.. I'm disappointed in him and hurt. I'm not so much angry anymore. I've gotten over the anger. I'm just disappointed and hurt. Sometimes I wish I were just angry because anger disappates, but hurt and disappointment linger. Hurt, disappointment, and sadness take time to heal and go away. Anger is instant. I wish I were just angry.

Being sorry means that you will try your hardest to never, ever do it again. To repend and be sorry for your sins is to truly consciously not ever do it again. I want to trust that it won't, but humanity always states otherwise.

This was just a small offense. A small lie. But small lies can turn to big lies. And what else would he end up lying about?

But I'm letting this one go. I'm forgiving and I will learn to forget. It will be a journey to rebuild my trust, but the Lord will guide and provide, not only for him, but for me. The Lord will guide my heart to true forgiveness and true trust. The Lord will guide him to be truly repentant for it. And the Lord will give him the strength to not do it again.

That's the only thing I can do. Give it up and say "Jesus, I trust in You"