Important..

It's nice to be wanted.. isn't it?

I mean.. it makes you feel somewhat important in someone's life.. right?

I just feel like.. I'm not important.. I'm not important to the one person that I shoud be somewhat important to.. and well.. it sucks..

Six months later.. you would think that I would have gained SOME importance.. I mean.. I'm not asking for top priority.. but at least some sort of status.. some sort of stature in the hierarchy of his life..

I felt important before.. when we first started going out.. when we first met each other.. when we were getting to know each other.. I felt important then.. and now.. as the months go by.. I just feel less and less important.. it's like.. he doesn't even try anymore.. the only effort he makes is when he drives up here every other weekend.. and spends the weekend with me.. outside of that.. it's like.. he barely cares..

I mean.. he's not a bad boyfriend at all.. there are moments when I we are both there.. both in the same moment.. where I feel we are both on the same page.. and then.. he pulls back..

I don't know what he's afraid of..

And the longer this is going.. the more I'm losing interest.. and I'm just scared that by the time he realizes to fix this.. I'll be so deep into my "shut down" mode.. that I'm not going to want to fix it anymore..

Sad thing is.. I don't think he realizes what's going on right now.. and when we talk.. it's like.. he's so oblivious.. it's hard to get the coversation started..

Why can't he realize that I'm actually hurting here?