I'm going to rip my nose off!

My goodness.. my nose is sooo dang itchy! I hate allergy season.. i used never be this bad.. i guess it comes with old age..

Sometimes I wish I understood life better.. I wish I could see my future.. to see if i'm really going to end up with who I want to end up with.. to see if all this effort and this stress is worth it because we will live happily ever after...

I love him.. i really do.. and I know.. that without a doubt.. that he loves me too.. but i know that love isn't enough.. there are other aspects of life that can make a marriage be successfull... love is a big part.. but it's not all there is..

I just don't think its fair.. sometimes i feel like everyone else's lives are better than mine.. it doesn't seem like everyone else has to go through all that i have to go through.. my cousin's seem to have it easy.. they didn't have to struggle to start a life with their significant other.. they didn't have to go through half of the stuff i have to go through.. they seemed to have it all.. even my brother seems to have it better than me. He doesn't seem like he has to suffer through as much stuff i have to.. he's doing fine..

I thought i was doing fine.. i have a good job.. i have a loving fiance.. but i suffer.. i suffer over the wedding.. i suffer over thinking about how i'm gonna be married.. i suffer with the doubts i have that we can actually pull it toether to make a life for ourselves..

I hate this.. i hate this realization.. but it had to be made eventually.. right?