I'm in bed!

Ya.. so a friday night.. i'm in bed before midnight.. i'm gettng old..

I don't know if i'm gonna see justyn this weekend.. i don't think i am.. and that sucks.. cuz at this really fragile time.. i need to have his physical support.. but i'm being optimistic.. i had a good day today and so i think i can get through the weekend strictly by phonecall..

Today was bearable.. i know that i'm still in my hole.. but i saw the light at the end of it.. the climb was a lot easier.. my body didn't feel as heavy.. i felt like i climbed a lot.. i'm hopeful today.. today i feel like i can get through everything...

I hope this feeling lasts for awhile..

I hated how i felt yesterday.. i wanted to give up so bad.. i wanted to fall back down to the bottom of the hole and stay there for the rest of my life...

Talk about ups and downs! Yesterday seemed like the ultimate down.. therefore.. i belive that it's all uphill from here.. i hope!