Say "cheese!"

Did I ever tell you about the time.. this year.. that I took my mother to Knott's Berry Farm's Halloween Haunt.. or.. otherwise known as "Knotts Scary Farm"?

Ya.. that was fun.. I thought that my mother would hate it.. she's not the type to get scared or startled easily.. so i thought she would just find it all corny and retarded.. but nope.. look at the picture.. she had a great time.. and she's swearing that we are gonna bring daddy along next year.. hahaha! Can't wait.. it's gonna be hilarious..

I think that this next year.. I'm going to try to go more places.. not just Disneyland.. I think this year will be the year that we finally hit all the museums I really wanna go to.. especially the Getty.. I have been wanting to go there for a long time now.. and I haven't been there since 2000... i'm due back a visit.

And I think next year that I will try to add more pictures in this blog.. not just pictures of things.. but pictures of me and friends and family and more events.. describe more events and maybe in delve into my past..

Ya.. I think I'll do that.. give this blog more substance..

Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully I'll be able to add an entry tomorrow..

I love the show "Tick, Tick... BOOM"

Sometimes.. this song seems so pointant to me.. like.. i seem to relate to it a lot.. not with Jonathan's part.. but with Susan's.. I just feel like.. sometimes.. this is the theme song to my battle with life.. and Jonathan's not a far cry from people i deal with..

JOHNNY CAN'T DECIDE

JONATHAN:
Break of day, the dawn is here
Johnny's up and pacing
Compromise, or persevere
His mind is racing
Johnny has no guide
Johnny wants to hide
Can he make a mark,
If he gives up his spark?
Johnny can't decide

SUSAN:
Susan longs to live by the sea,
She's through with competition
Susan wants a family
Johnny's got a tough decision
Johnny has no guide

JONATHAN AND SUSAN:
Johnny wants to hid
Can he settle down
And still not drown?

JONATHAN:
Drown

JONATHAN AND SUSAN:
Johnny can't decide

MICHAEL:
Michael's gonna have it all
His luck will never end
Johnny's backed against the wall
Can he bend his dreams,
Just like his friend?

JONATHAN, SUSAN AND MICHAEL:
Johnny sees that Susan's right
Ambition eats right through you
Michael doesn't see why
Johnny holds so tight
To the things that
Johnny feels are true

Johnny has no guide
(Johnny has no guide)
Johnny wants to hide
(Johnny wants to hide)
How can you soar
If your nailed to the floor?
Johnny can't decide

JONATHAN:
[Speaking]
I want to write music
I want to sit down
Right now at the piano
And write a song that
People will listen to and remember
And do the same thing every morning
For the rest of my life

JONATHAN, SUSAN AND MICHAEL:
Johnny has no guide
(Johnny has no guide)
Johnny wants to...
Johnny wants to hide
How do you know
When it's time to let go?

Johnny can't decide
(Johnny can't decide)
Johnny can't decide
(Johnny can't decide)
Johnny can't decide
(Johnny can't decide)
Decide, decide
Decide, decide

JONATHAN:
Johnny can't decide

Sigh.. but I love this song.. even when I feel like it hits too close to home..

Hi ho.. hi ho.. it's off to work I go..

Ya.. who goes to work for two days this week.. only to be off again on Friday?!

Apparently me..

Oh well.. I'm feeling much better and much more rested than I have been for awhile.. maybe that fainting spell helped me relaize that i need more sleep and rest than I've been allowing myself to get.. and well.. i'm gettng it.. unfortunately.. i would be getting more.. but i'm having TO GO TO WORK!

I am not really complaining.. at least i have a job.. and it's a job i love.. and it's a job i wish to have at this time next year.. but everything is still up in the air with that.. but i'm praying my little heart out that my contract either gets extended.. or an opening pops up and i'm able to take it.. i really hope.. i really really do..

So.. if you find some spare time.. pray for me with that cause.. i'd appreciate it.. the power of prayer is a pretty strong thing... and so.. if everyone just says one lil prayer about it for me at least once a week.. i'd be greatful..

We should start a prayer tree.. or a blog in which we can all leave comments about prayers we want prayed for.. and all of the readers can pray for each one..

What a way to build a community.. that'd be interesting.. i just don't have the time to fully dedicate myself to something like that.. but i'd alwasy find the time to pray for everyone as much as i could..

Let's all think about this.. shall we..

Christmas's not the same without you..

It's Christmas morning. I'm going to go to Church. Then I'm going straight home. Nope. I'm not going to Justyn's to celebrate Christmas with them. That's sad. I really was looking forward to seeing his niece on her first tricycle. I was really looking forward to Justyn's surprise to seeing what I got him..

But nope.

We opened one gift together yesterday. And i'll have to wait till tonight for him to deliver the rest of the presents and for him to open the rest of his presents.

This Christmas is sad.

I passed out yesterday in Church. I was in the middle of singing the Responsorial Psalm and felt really dizzy so I went to sit down.. in a matter of minutes I was passed out.. they called the ambulance and sent me straight to the emergency room.

I'm fine.. I had.. what they called a Vasovagal Syncope.

I fainted. I fainted due to a reflex reaction that caused my blood pressure and pulse to suddenly drop. My body went into "survival mode" by making me pass out. It was one of those freakish things a body does.

I spent the entire morning at the ER.. but I was discharged and able to spend Christmas Eve with my side of the family like we always do.. but my parents are insisting on my staying home today.. to rest.. meaning.. no Justyn's house.. sigh..

I'm still a lil worn out.. but I'm over all fine..

It's a sad Christmas.. but blessed that it wasn't anything more serious..

Learn a lil about me..

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'7"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
YOU CAN SMOKE HEROIN???

3. Do you own a gun?
I STILL OWN THE WOODEN RIFLE I USED TO TOSS AROUND IN COLOR GUARD.. DOES THAT COUNT?!

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
OH YA.. AND THAT NERVOUSNESS LASTED ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF.. I'M BARELY GETTING OVER IT.. HEE HE

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I DIG THE POLISH ONES AT THE COSTCO.. $1.50 INCLUDES A DRINK.. THAT'S A DEAL!

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
"WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS" AND "O HOLY NIGHT" WHEN I REMEMBER THE WORDS..

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
COFFEE!!!

9. Can you do push ups?
ONE.. HEE HEE..

10. Is your bathroom clean?
SURE.. RIIIIIGHT..

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
MY ENGAGEMENT RING.. DUH!

12. Do you like painkillers?
SURE.. THEY KILL THE PAIN..

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
PLAYING BILLARDS AND MY LACK OF KNOWLEGE OF FOOTBALL.. AND MY TICKLISHNESS.. I THINK I USED THOSE ON EVERY GUY I'VE DATED..

14. Do you hate any of your exs?
NOT REALLY.. NOT ANYMORE.. IT'S ALL IN THE PAST..

15. Do you have a dog?
NOPE.. BUT I HAVE A JUSTYN...

16. Middle Name?
MARIE..

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I DON'T WANNA WORK TOMORROW CUZ I'LL BE BUSY AGAIN.. I WANNA GO BACK TO JUSTYN'S HOUSE.. WOW, CHRISTMAS IS COMING FAST!

18? WTF??

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
COFFEE, ORANGE JUICE, COFFEE

20. What time did you wake up today?
6:30AM

22. Current worry?
LIFE

23. Current hate?
THE UNCERTAINTY OF THE FUTURE

24. Favorite place to be?
IN JUSTYN'S ARMS.. AWWW..

25. Least favorite place to be?
DEPENDS..

27. Do you own slippers?
SURE

28. What shirt are you wearing be specific?
MY VERY OLD AB MILLER SWEATER

29. Do you burn or tan?
TAN.. BUT LATELY I'VE BEEN BURNING.. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!

30. Favorite color(s)?
PINK AND PURPLE

31. Would you be a pirate?
SURE.. I'LL BE A HOTT PIRATE CHICK!

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
DEPENDS IF I'M DOING A SHOW.. IF NOT.. I TURN INTO KELLY CLARKSON.. HAHAH!

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
THOSE LUGGAGES THAT WERE SITTING UP IN THE UPPER AREA OF MY ROOM.. THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE GONNA EAT ME..

35. What's in your pockets right now?
I HAVE NO POCKETS RIGHT NOW..

36. Last thing/person that made you laugh? THE PICTURES OF THE KIDDIES ON MY PARENTS COMPUTER

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
CUTE FLORAL PRINT

38. Worst injury you've ever had? I HAD TRIPPED ON A FOUNTAIN STREAM THINGY THAT WAS RUNNING THROUGH A MALL.. AND I HAVE A DENT IN MY SHIN BONE..


39. If you could cheat on your spouse, would you?
OH HECK NO! MARRIAGE IS A SACRAMENT.. AND I MADE A VOW TO GOD AND TO MY HUSBAND TO BE FOREVER FAITHFUL!

40. Are your parents still together?
YUP!

41. Who is your loudest friend?
OH MAN.. I COULD NAME A FEW..

42. Who is your most silent friend?
MAYBE NINA.. AND STEPH..

43. Does someone hate you?
I'M SURE THERE ARE A FEW PEOPLE OUT THERE..

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
NOT SO MUCH..

45. What is your favorite book?
NICHOLAS SPARKS ANYTHING.. DAN BROWN ANYTHING.. HARRY POTTER ANYTHING... AND I'M REALLY THINKING ABOUT READING EVERYTHING C.S. LEWIS.. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE THE TIME..

46. What is your favorite candy?
TWIX, KITKATS.. SNICKERS..

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
OH MAN... I HAVE A LIST.. THE WHOLE WEDDING WILL BE THREE HOURS OF JUST SONGS.. HAHAHA..

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I DON'T KNOW.. I'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO THE FAMILY..

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
SLEEPING

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
THE WEEKEND IS COMING.. HANG IN THERE..

More adventues in gift wrapping..

How much gift wrap am I going to waste on those stupid Bath and Body Antibacterial Soap pump things..

Oh my gosh.. the nozzles would poke through the paper.. and then.. I'd have to start all over again..

I had SIX of those to wrap.

In retrospect.. I could have always bought six Christmas gift bags for each of them.. but I would have saved some money wrapping them myself.. and during this holiday season.. with all th bills I have to pay for.. every penny pinched helps..

I gave up.. and made my mother do it.. and she got them ALL done.. without poking any holes..

I must be "gift wrap retarded"

Adventures in gift wrapping...

Ok.. so the box to that TMX Elmo totally scared me..

There's this flap on the box that says "lift to peek" and it's hooked up to an electronic thingy that makes elmo start laughing as you open the flap..

I was sooo not expecting that.. and i jumped about eight feet...

Just thought I'd share... I"m off to work!

And from the sky..

I think it should totally start raining money.

Ok.

Wishful thinking: I'm totally allowed every once and awhile.

It was weird not having anything to do yesterday. Well. Not like I didn't have anything to do. I went out and did some last minute Christmas shopping.. which i have to do again today.

What I mean by "nothing to do" is that I didn't have a rehearsal or a class or anything like that yesterday. It was strictly home.. and then shopping.. I wasn't in a hurry to make it to a place for anything scheduled. I kinda liked the freedom I had yesterday. Woo hoo!

Sometimes I feel I have taken on way too much in my life. I need to let somethings go. Maybe teaching next year. Maybe I'll let that go for awhile. It is too much stress this year. My brain is fried and I can't take it. The children have worn me out. Last years class kept me rejuvinated. But this years makes me feel like I'm talking to 22 brick walls. I am NOT having fun in this class and I don't even feel like I'm getting through to them.

I wish I felt like I were getting through to at least one or two.. then I would feel like I'm accomplishing something. But.. I'm not..

It's sad.. and it's leaving me very discouraged.. and burnt out..

I hear the wind..

Great.. it's gonna be windy today. I can hear the wind starting up. What a way to start a Monday.

Can you possibly believe that Christmas is next week?!?! A week from TODAY!!!!

Sheesh.. and I'm not done with my Christmas shopping. There is still a lot ot buy for. I mainly have to buy for my cousin's children.. the ones that I call my own.. haha! I finished my Godson's gift.. I got him the TMX Elmo! Yes! Just in time for Christmas. Is that kid spoiled or what?! Hee hee..


And then.. I got his big sister.. that mermaid that swims in the water.. cuz that's what she wants! Which I can't find a picture of.. so.. I can't show you..

And their oldest brother is into Bionicle stuff.. I am not sure what to get him though.. something Bionicle... that's what he's always asking for..


We'll see.. Christmas time always screws up my budget..

Not to mention the car insurance bill I have to pay for.. and that speeding ticket I have to pay for on top of all that.. I better pay off my credit cards in a timely manner..

May all your wishes.. come true...

This is ACT.. i'm the loser in the front with the glasses.. I'm sure you'll sorta recognize me..

We are the Adult Chorale Troupe.. hence.. ACT..

We just had our Christmas Concert yesterday.. I wish that they had the pictures taken yesterday.. my hair was curled and I had make up on.. that was the last day of dress rehearsal.. and i was glad to have made it.. I mean.. seriously.. i went straight from my CCD class to the rehearsal.. that's why I had no make up and my hair wasn't done..

We had a blast at the concert. We all sang our hearts out.. it was so much fun.. and I can't wait to do it again.. I think we all come back.. pending time and money.. in March.. good times.. for a big "ACT on Broadway" type show..

And you know I love my showtunes!!!

I had a great time with everyone.. we're all pretty fun loving and crazy.. I fit right in!!!

Violated!!

Ok.. it's time to get serious.. on a serious topic.. credit card theft.

So.. I have this one credit card that I rarely use. It is used for monthly yoga class subscriptions and to my booksfree.com subscription.

I started Christmas shopping this past weekend and decided to use that card for it. So.. I did.

Monday.. no.. Tuesday.. my mother gets a call from the credit card fraud department wanting to talk to me. I was already at worked so my mother had to call my cell phone and relay the message.

I had initially thought that the credit card company was merely calling to confirm that I had started using the credit card again and that the charges that i had made on Saturday and Sunday were mine. I love that about credit card companies!

So.. I called. On the automated recorded list of transactions I had made recently on the card... two came up that were classified under "bank transactions".. in other words.. cash advances..

I decided that it was best to talk to an operator so I was put on hold for about 10 to 15 minutes..

When I finally got an operator.. and we went through all that account verification mumbo-jumbo.. she had asked me whether I had traveled to another country lately..

Everyone knows that I've been stuck here for the past few years..

I told her that I hadn't and she proceeded to tell me that someone in the UK had made some cash advances under my credit card number..

THAT SOOO WAS NOT ME!!

Needless to say.. I have paper work to sign and give back.. and I don't have to pay for that scumbag that decided to use my credit card to pay for whatever evil-doing that he/she needed to do!

It's rather violating to know that someone hacked into a personal item of yours without permission..

But.. I am blessed.. I am blessed because the credit card company recognized the transaction as unusual.. and I am blessed that this guy didn't take thousands and thousands of dollars...

Sigh.. what a way to spread Christmas cheer.. as if there isn't enough drama going on in my life..

And that other drama.. will give me more topic for up-coming blog entries.. so stay tuned..

Lil man!

It's my lil man's birthday.. my cousin's son.. the lil one I call ZZ..

He's six.

Gosh.. Six years have flown by so quickly.. I can't even believe that the lil baby I used to carry around.. is six. Way too big to carry now! He's six!

I swear.. I'm acting like he's my own child. Hahah!

I was twenty years old when my cousin had him... just barely out of a four-year relationship.. in college.. not taking it as seriously as I should have.. but doing fairly well.. and just kinda living my life.. one day at a time.. no schedules.. no hectic days.. just living..

What happened in the past six years that turned my life into this?

I'm engaged to a great guy.. out of college for two years.. working.. in a job I love with a salary I hate.. my life is way too scheduled and way too occupied.. but doing well.. and living my life by appointment.. i don't really feel like i'm living my life anymore.. i'm just zoned..

All in six years..

All of that happened in six years..

How did that happen?

It's funny how it takes my ZZ turning six years old.. to make me realize how much time has past.. and how much things have changed..


Create your own friendquiz here

Try it..

Create your own friendquiz here

That's a 15 question quiz about me... to see what you know. As you can see.. my fiance gets highest ranking.. well.. HE SHOULD! Haha..

It'd be pretty sad if he didn't..

I'm sitting here.. staring at the blank computer screen. I stared for a good two minutes. Just staring. I have no idea what to write about today. Yet, I'm here. I'm here with coffee in one hand and keyboard in the other. Still at a loss for what to write. I'm sure this has happened to even the best of bloggers. I had seemed to be on a roll lately, with little things to talk aobut. I guess not today.

AND IT'S ONLY TUESDAY!!!

The Queen of the AntiClimatic Blog..

All hail the Queen of the AntiClimatic Blog..



Yes.. I am the queen. I am the queen of the nonsensical. I am the queen of the random. I am the queen of the pointless. I am the queen.

I am the queen of the unfinished thought. I am the queen of the fragmented sentence. I am the queen of the run-on sentence. I am the queen.

I just thought that.. instead of moping about what a complete loser I am in life.. that I should praise the things that make me... me!

Have a blessed Sunday!

Yikes! I should have explained better..

Ok.. so.. in regards to yesterday's post..

I guess I should have explained or written it better..

I got a comment asking me what that picture of me singing at my friend's wedding had to do with weight gain/loss..

Well.. before I posted the picture, the text states something to the effect of the weight loss didn't make me look like the healthiest of people.. and in that picture.. I felt that I looked very skinny to the point that it didn't look that great.. and that's why I posted the picture.

I think it should make a little more sense now.. right?

No.. I wasn't bragging about my singing skills...
No.. I didn't post the wrong picture..

I probably should have explained it..

It was early in the morning..

I have no excuse.. I'm just a loser like that..

Gaining weight..

I hate the feeling of gaining weight. I feel as if I am. This holiday season is totally screwing with all the weight I had lost this year. Granted.. I know that some of my weight loss has not made me look like the healthiest of people..

But still.

I did feel alot better about myself when I'm that skinny. I just need to stop eating so much.. and i don't.. my biggest meal of the day is lunch. And it's usually just yogurt for dinner...

Sigh.. maybe I just need to skip dinner all together..

Hangin' Tough!

The New Kids On The Block.

I had a New Kids On The Block poster on my wall since.. gosh.. i don't know when..

I finally did what I never thought I would do.. THROW THE POSTER AWAY.

Yes. I did. I finally got the nerve to take the poster down and decide to just trash it instead of save it to put it back up later. I mean... I think it's time.. don't you?!

I also took all the magazines and pictures I had saved of the Backstreet Boys and decided to throw them away too!

I worship Nick Carter!


Nick Carter

I don't know why I saved it.. nor do i know why I still need it. So.. I tossed it. It was a part of me for so very long. But... there comes a point in ones life that you just have to grow up and leave it behind.

So.. I guess this was the point..

Shall we hold some sort of.. ceremony.. or.. party?!

Hark! How the bells..

My run in the Rancho Cucamong Adult Chorale Troupe is almost done. We will be ending with out Christmas concert on Thursday December 14th. I'm excited to finally perform and kinda bummed that it's ending.. and kinda relieved that it's ending.

ACT ending means I have a free Monday to do whatever I please. Even possible overtime at work is able to be done without feeling that I'm going to be rushing to get out in order to make it to rehearsal on time.

I liked ACT. I don't know if I'm going to do it again though.

Some of it seemed a little too nit-picky and too detail-oriented that it was annoying. I mean.. I'm used to a lot of detailed direction.. but this bordered on a little "not fun" territory.

I realize all productions are hard work and it's not fun all the time.. but still.. there was just a factor that didn't set well with me..

But you all know how much I love to sing.. and any chance I get I totally take.. and my friends are in the class.. so maybe next year.. who knows?

We'll see..

Oh ya.. and the best part about ACT.. I finally get to sing Carol of the Bells.. which i have never sung in my life! Woo hoo!

My friends keep me sane..

These are my friends. I went to school with all the girls. We are the "b-tech girls" or "babes" haha.. and then guys are all our fiances..

Tho.. they are all getting married next year.. I.. am being left behind. It's ok.. sort of.. at least I'll get my own year.. but it sucks to wait.

These are the girls i turn to when I need to vent about something.. to talk about something.. to celebrate something.



It's pretty obvious I'm the nut of the group. But they love me anyway.

The three of us have struggled though the madness known as Cellular Molecular Biology Techniques. We were in a lab group together and we've been inseperable ever since. We even travel down to San Diego to hang out with one of them that lives there.

Next to Justyn.. these are the people I turn to to really let all my feelings out. And I'm really glad I found friends that I hope will last a long time. I haven't had a set of friends like this for a long time. My high school group fizzled out fast. It was only when some of them got married that we've sort of rekindled everything. But it's sadly not the same. The old high school group kinda split in half.. and we all lost touch with the other half..

Sigh..

I think I"m in need of a Coffee Bean date with them.. i need to regain my sanity.. i'm losing my mind!!!

Hello life.. Goodbye dreams..

Well.. ya.. thats all.. any hope I had for us getting married in August of 2008 is quickly becoming a faded memory..

With my luck.. I'm going to be married at 30.. it's not old.. but so not the ideal age i wanted to get married at. My little brother.. who is about 5 years younger than me is probaby going to get married before me. I wanted to have chidlren by 30.. to avoid the problems that could possibly increase with age in a pregnancy.

That's not going to happen.

I probably wont end up married anyway. I'll probably not have any kids. I'll end up alone. Living in my parents house.. never making enough money to live for myself.

I'm going to end up with a life I absolutely hate.

All because I'm way to impatient for anything.

Do you now see why I hate my life so much??

I'm so excited..

Today is the Cursillo Christmas Party. I went last year as a guest of my mothers. This year, I'll be going as a Cursillista.. yay!

The great thing about it is that I was made co-emcee of the party. Apparently they pick one guy and one girl from this years graduating Cursillo class to do so.. and they picked me! That's exciting. I hope that I'm good. I hope that I won't be boring or dull. I hope that the other person that's emceeing with me is easy to work with.

Exciting!

I'll let you know what happens!

Ahh!

Now.. in Blog Explosion!

I finally decided to put this blog into rotation at Blog Explosion. I'm sure that lots of you know what that is.. and well.. it's fun.. you come across many different blogs. Blogs you never dreamed of looking at.. you end up surfing through at Blog Explosion.. good times..

I called this blog my more "serious blog with pictures" because.. well.. it kind of is. I mean.. I have pictures on all my blogs at one point or another.. but I tend to just ramble on endlessly on those other blogs.. I try to keep things more focused on this one. At least.. I recently started trying to keep focused on this blog.

I guess it's cuz I actually have a few commenters on this site and they do give a lot of insightful and worthy advice to the things I blog about. And if I fill this with mindless ramble.. then.. there is really no point in commenting on it.

I find that this is the blog I turn to when I feel like something is bothering me. I get good feedback from it and then it does make me feel better.

This is my "therapy blog"

It's free.. and it helps..

So.. if you are surfing around BlogExplosion.. and come across this blog.. I hope that you find it somewhat interesting and somewhat real-life.. and stick around to read the rest.. maybe even leave a comment or two.. and definitely come back for more!