Lack of zoo... hmph!

Justyn is going to San Diego today. He's going to the zoo. I want to go to the zoo. I wish I could have gone. Sigh.

Anyway...

So, I've been listening to a lot of Catholic podcasts lately. They are great. I have really learned a lot from them all. It has given me so much insight on my faith and shown me that I am not alone in my struggles with my faith at times due to my struggles in life.

It shows how they have their anger, they have their doubt, they have their questions..

I'm not the only one..

It doesn't make me any less faithful..

It just makes me "human"..

And the one thing we have in common is that, after all the initial feelings are gone, we all turn back to the Lord and realize that if we trust in Him completely, that He will ALWAYS provide.

Granted, it may not always be the way we want things to end up.. but He always provides..

Yay, podcasts, yay!

Monday..

I am exhausted.

This weekend was EXHAUSTING!!

Saturday, we were at a Cursillo fundraiser at a golf course in Corona. It was a really nice place and so I got information on wedding recptions and prices there. People that were reading it were telling me that it was a very good deal. We'll see.

It was soo hott that day. But my cousin's children were there (the kiddies).. and I love them to death and so it's always fun to go somewhere with them.

Sunday was my PartyLite starter party. Exciting. I will be getting about $250+ in hostess credit.. meaning that I can get $250+ worth of free products! I also get gifts and stuff. Fun.. Fun.. Fun!

I also have a party booked for next month and I will start getting people to book parties with me so that I can start throwing parties.

A good thing about it is that Justyn and I can work together and do some joint "massage therapy/candle selling" party. It can work. We are just going to work out the logistics for it. I can't wait!

But it has left me very, very, very, very, very exhausted!!!

And just like that...

He passed away.

April 27th, 2007. Around noon.

His heart just finally gave up and he is now in a better place. We'd all like to think that when everyone dies that they are in a better place now. I think it gives us comfort in our grief after losing a loved one.

I personally wasn't very close to him. I would see him and his wife every time they came to the states for some medical treatment. They always treated me so nicely and spoiled me so much. I was one of their treasured grand-nieces. My father's side of the family likes to spoil me. It's my favorite part of being my father's daughter. Hahaha!

Death is something I dont think I can ever get used to. Tho' I had seen him in the hospital and saw the amount of suffering he was going thru.. tho' I had wished that the Lord would do what is right for him and for his family.. tho' we all knew that this was going to happen eventually.. tho' we all figured he wasn't going to make it thru this alive..

To know that he's actually passed away.. it still hurts..

It hurts to see his family suffer.. it hurts to know that I won't hear him cracking jokes again.. it just hurts..

But he's in a better place.. and he is no longer suffering.. that's our consolation..

Where's the chapstick?

Man.. when is the chapstick when I need it??

I think I left my gloss in my other purse. That is the curse of having too many purses in my rotation of purses. But I'm a girl.. what can i say?

So many feelings ran through me yesterday as I went to visit my father's uncle in the hospital. My parents have been telling me.. over and over and over.. his condition.. what he's going through.. how he looks.. everything..

But to see it for the first time.. It really scared me.. I hate seeing people in that state of pain.. in that state of illness.. in that state of teetering over the edge of life and death..

I hate it.. especially since I have known this man all my life.. and remember how he usually is.. happy.. always the first one to crack a joke.. full of life.. even through all the health issues he has been through..

But to see him this way.. yikes..

I don't know.. it's easy to say.. let him go.. it's for the best.. ease his suffering.. if the Lord wants to take him to His kingdom.. then by all means.. why stop it?

But at the same time.. I can see the how hard it is to let someone you love deeply go.. to know that you'll never see that person again.. to know that this person won't be around anymore..

But knowing that he will be with the Lord.. but knowing that he will no longer be suffering..

I don't know.. it was very difficult to see him.. and i keep picturing him in that hospital bed everytime i close my eyes..

Please pray for him.. that the Lord will be merciful to him and his family.. and that the Lord will do what is best for him and his family.. whether it be he lives or not.. that the Lord will do what is best.. and that the Lord embrace him and his family with love and grace in this especially hard time for all of them..

Thanks!

Wow... seriously.. wow..

Busy.. busy.. weekend!

Started off on Friday.. went to stay with one of my best friends the night before her wedding. It wasn't so bad.. we went to bed early.. 11pm ish.. so.. that was good..

The next day was her wedding.. a beautiful wedding.. one of the best weddings that I've gone to..and i was so honored to be a part of it. I wish those two all the blessings in the world..

Sunday.. I had to go to church early to go to ACT 2 rehearsal.. and then performed for the RC Library Telethon.. good times.. it was a lot of fun.. so it was exciting.

I went home and crashed in my bed at 5pm.. i only planned on sleeping til about 7pm.. but woke up at 9pm... YIKES! I wanted to just fall asleep for the rest of the night but I figured I should be smarter than that and got up and cleaned up like I told myself I was going to..

It was a busy weekend.. but I think i'm just now finally feeling the effects of it all.. exhausted and tired.. and lazy..

Lord, give me the strenght to continue on with the day.. seriously.. i need it!

Got so many Catholic podcasts that I subscribed to.. and currently listening to right now.. interesting to see everyone's point of view on certain things and to learn things about my faith that i didn't really know about.. hopefully i can use it to really be a good CCD teacher.. and to be a good defender of faith.. especially when i need it..

I need a nap!

A week later..

I am so sorry I haven't been around. My life has been nothing but hectic.

This past weekend was one of my bestest friend's bachelorette shower. We went to this nitespa in venice. It was nice. I got a nice hour-long massage. I needed it.. oh so much! They were all headed to this wine bar afterwards.. but I opted not to go. I wanted to. I had the outfit and eveything. However, I had to be a responsible singer, and go home for an early night. I had audition for ACT 2.

So, after church last Sunday, I went to the audition and it went well. I'm assuming it went well because my friend and I got our duet approved for the show! Yay!

This week I also got my PartyLite starter kit. Man, there is a lot of stuff. I never expected it to entail so much information. But I guess it should be expected. I mean, I am starting my own small business.. it's very overwhelming, but i'm sure once my mentoring consultant goes over it with me.. it's should be a piece of cake.

Tonight is my friends wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Friday is a dinner and she and a couple of us girls are going to have a slumber party at the hotel she's staying in.

Then.. the wedding. I'm so happy for her and i can't wait.

I should be able to post regularly after this.

There is something I want to address on this blog.. concerning the question I posted on my Easter Egg Hunt blog entry..

Til then.. muah!

Take me out of the dark..

Just what is it in me?
sometimes I just don't know
what keeps me in your love
why you never let me go
And though you're in me now
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord please show me how
to know just how you feel
You have forgiven me
too many times it seems
I feel I'm not what you might call
a worthy Christian after all
And though I love you so temptations
finds it's way to me

Teach me to trust in You
with all of my heart
to lean not on my own understanding
coz' I just forget
You won't give me what we can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord
I don't want to be there,ooh,hah

You never left my side
You gave Your hand to me
to hold You,oh Jesus
I'm no longer in the cold
And yet I leave You there
when I feel satisfied
I'd like to thank You everyday
not only when I feel that way
I've never known a man
who'd give His life for sinners like me
And yet because He loves us so
He promised us eternity
And we can have His promise
and be His if have faith and
just believe..

Teach us to trust in You
with all our heart
to lean not on our own understanding
cause we just forget
You won't give us what we can't bear
Take us out of the dark our Lord
We don't want to be there
Yeah, My Lord

Teach me to trust in You
with all of my heart
to lean not on my own understanding
'cause I just forget
You might give me what I can't bear
Take me out of the dark My Lord
I we don't want to be alone
You take me out of the dark,My lord
i don't want to be there,
ooh,ooh...hah...

Sung by Gary Valenciano

Easter Egg Hunt..

I spent Easter with Justyn and his family. It was his niece's first egg hunt.. and so.. it was a fun to see her meandering around the front yard looking for eggs..

I was part of the "hiding committee" that hid eggs around the front yard... as you can see.. i cleverly disguised an egg in it's "green-grass-bush" surroundings.. haha.. it almost looks like an egg in a nest.. except the nest is green.. not brown and made of twigs..

I am apparently giving this way too much thought..

In any case, Justyn's niece loved hunting for eggs that we ended up doing it twice!

Now.. my question is.. as a Catholic Christian.. or.. as any religion that believes in the life, death and resurrection of our Lord.. is it wrong for children to participate in Egg Hunts? Does it make them any less "christian" or does it really take away from the true meaning of this blessed religious holiday?

Lemme hear your thoughts.. and then I'll tell you mine.. and why I ask this..

The wonders of a glass of milk..

Proactivity..

I guess this is a start to my proactive outlook on life..

I always say that I need the extra money.. but I don't want the full committment of another job.. so.. I decided to become a PartyLite consultant.. meaning.. I will sell PartyLite products.. candles.. mainly.. high quality candles..

These are the candles I have been in love with for YEARS.. and to finally feel like i"m old enough and ready to sell them.. tha'ts a feat..

I've always wanted to sell PartyLite.. but at the time.. I felt like I was too young and shy.. not good enough to throw Candle Parties.. or convince people to host a party so that I can sell my product. I think I'm old enough and mature enough to handle my own lil business.. who knows.. it may become more lucrative that I expected.

I'm still waiting for my starter kit to arrive in the mail.. and then I will be having a "training" party at the end of this month.. then I should be able to book my own parties and start selling as I go..

Wish me luck and lots of blessings! I'll keep you posted on my progress.. of course..

Speedy week..

Wow.. I have to admit.. this week has flown by fairly quickly.

I mean.. it's Thursday already.

It seems to have come out of nowhere. Lent is almost over. We are in Holy Week now. Holy Thursday.. to start the Three Days.. then.. we have Easter.

And the only reason I really know that is because I teach CCD. I didn't even know that. I don't even think that they taught us that when I was going through CCD. Then again.. I was just like those little students that I teach every week.. unenthusiastic and forced to be there..

But.. look how I turned out.. so.. I shouldn't be too worried.. should i?

I just want to know that I made an impression on at least one of my students.. then my life would be complete.. I would love to see one of my kids become an alter server and then move on to other ministries..

Only God knows..

Mana.. mana..

Wanna hear me sing???

Justyn and I were playing around with iMovie again..

I'm singing.. and well.. he's... being himself...

Let me know what you think!!

I'm out...

Ok.. so I"m doing it.. I'm finally dropping that dumb show.. I can't stand it.. I'm sorry... and to be disrespected today.. that was the last straw..

Why would I let myself be subject to that.. it's not a paid gig.. it's not like its going to advance my career.. it's not like it's going to win me any Tony awards.. I mean.. it's JUST community theater.. and well.. for someone of authority to disrespect me like that.. when I honestly don't have to be there.. I really don't.. that's the final straw.. NO ONE does that to me..

Especially when I was trying to be nice.. and I was just mentioning a preference I have.. that's not right to shove it in my face and do completely opposite.. soley for the reason that I asked.. she goes and does the complete opposite..

NO ONE DISRESPECTS ME LIKE THAT..

And I've put up with a lot.. and I haven't been happy since day 1.. so.. why should I continue..

I thought I could be better than that.. and stick to it because I have a committment.. stick to it because I have a responsibility to that cast..

No.. I can't.. I can't stay in a situation where I had been blatantly disrespected.. that's just not right..

Call me a brat.. for not gettng what I wanted.. call me a diva..

A brat would have been walking out of there because she did the opposite of what i asked for.. yet.. gave me any legitimate reason for her choosing.. yet.. walked out anyway...

No.. I have every right to feel disrespected..

Hasn't it been an age-old lesson.. that when you want something.. you ask for it nicely... and maybe they'll give it to you.. maybe they won't.. but they should have their LEGITIMATE REASONS... not "just because i asked.. i'm going to be a bitch and do comepletely opposite.."

NO.. that is NOT how I roll..

So.. load of my shoulder.. but very bummed at the same time.. cuz now.. i won't be doing a show.. and it's not like anything is going to be opening up anytime soon that i can audition for.. so.. now.. i'm back to slumming and bumming it...

I'm not completely happy about that..

Categorized as THE WORST DAY... EVER!

I have bangs... and a video..

It's Justyn and I.. we have nothing better to do.. so.. we do this.. oh the wonders of YouTube..

I CAN'T BELIEVE I CUT MY BANGS..

It's taking awhile to get used to.. but I think I'm glad I did it..

How excitng!

I just figured out that I can use my built in camera on my lovely MacBook and make videos on iMovie..

Everyone probably knew that before I did.. but I just figured it out right now.. so.. you'll be seeing some videos of me soon.. I'll put them on YouTube then embed them on here.. of course.. I won't know exactly what the videos will be.. maybe me singing.. or talking.. or something..

But at least I know I can do it.. and I'll just learn how to do editing on iMovie and maybe make some fun movies and stuff..

This is.. all pendng on how much time I have on my hands.. which isn't much.. but it's still a start.. i can't wait.. i'm so excited..

The little things in life that make me most happy!

Gorge!

Tomorrow.. I will gorge on all that is unholy.. hahaha.. cupcakes.. cookies.. pizza... juice.. candy..

My kids are having their lil Easter party in my CCD class tomorrow..

I usually have them do some sort of activity before the food festivities begin.. so i decided to do something that they associate easter with.. and give it a little religious twist..

So.. I bought some of those foam sheets.. those colored ones.. the ones for lil crafty things.. and I cut them into egg shapes.. actually just ovals that I drew out from the computer..

I also bough foam stickers with little religous pictures and symbols on it..

So.. it'd be like.. decorating an Easter Egg.. with religious decorations.. so that they know why they are really celebrating this holiday.. so.. it's kinda like the best of both worlds.. i guess..

We also make these cute lil Easter cups.. and filled them up with candy.. and topped them off wiht those lil grass things that you use to fill up easter baskets.. cutest lil give-a-ways ever! Genius..

I can start a gifting business.. hey.. what do you know.. that's something I've always wanted to do..

OH ya.. made the cutest scarf EVER.. so good.. i'm making another one just like it.. and i'm going to try my luck on Ebay with it..

HOPING!!!!

A public service announcement from your friendly CCD teacher..

A little note of advice.. from a CCD teacher's perspective..

I mean.. seriously.. do you really have to depend on US to teach your kids the basics of our faith.. like.. simple gestures and prayers.. and what not.. like the Sign of the Cross.. it's something that you do ALL THE TIME.. or the Lord's Prayer.. something that you've said ALL YOUR LIFE..

And why do you have to wait til your child starts taking CCD classes to start going to church every week.. and why does it seem like we have to pull teeth just to get you to do so.. I understand that maybe Sundays aren't good days for some people.. but I mean.. at the beginning of the year.. I give you a whole list of churches in the area... and different times of the day.. saturday and sunday..

And please.. when i am teaching them prayers.. please.. please.. please help them.. help them memorize them.. go over them everyday.. help us.. we aren't doing this to torture them.. we aren't doing this just because we want to pack their brains with things.. these are very important prayers.. prayers that they will take with them for the rest of their life.. prayers that help them practice their faith.. i teach them that prayer is not only those formattted prayers.. but their own words and thoughts can be prayers too.. so help them.. teach them.. pray with them.. show them that you support what they are doing.. that you had been there too.. so.. help them out..

Make sure you tell them to pay attention when i'm trying to teach them things.. I mean.. I'm not a babysitting service.. I'm here for a reason.. I know that they might not be too thrilled to be there.. but please.. let them know that I'm doing this for a reason.. help them.. help us.. do us a favor..

We are not paid volunteers.. we don't have to be there.. we don't have to teach them.. we are here because we care about children and their faith journey.. we want to see them grow into strong Catholic men and women.. but help us..

And I'm stepping off my podium now.. I'll be back tomorrow with my regularly scheduled blogging..

Going outta my head..

I'm tired..

I need a vacation. I'm in desperate need of a vacation.

I had rehearsal today, but ditched. I am so bad. I really don't like this show. So, you can see a full lack of committment to it. Everyone knows that I am always at every rehearsal when it comes to theater. I rarely miss a rehearsal. I usually only miss a rehearsal if it's something unavoidable..

I just didn't feel like going after my CCD class.. so.. I didn't..

That makes me so bad.. such a flake.. DEFINTIELY NOT GOOD.

I don't know.. its' just a wrong kind of atmosphere. It's community theater, I'm not being paid for it.. in fact.. I paid a lot of money to be in it.. I should at least enjoy it.. right?

Well.. I"m not.. for the first time in a long time.. i'm miserable doing this show..

What can I do though.. I made a committement.. and i don't want to look too bad in front of these directors.. that I actually enjoy working with.. it's just.. the show.. it's not right for me.. it's not something I really ssee myself getting into..

I shoudn't have auditioned in the first place..

Sigh.. if I only knew then what I know now.. tsk.. tsk.. tsk..

Just a little unwell..

They weren't kidding when they said that this cough lingers.. man.. it's lingering alright..

The entire illness is lingering.. I don't feel 100% better yet.. I wish I were.. I'm still a lot more tired than I was before I got sick.. and this cough isn't helping..

It's not fun being a singer with a cough.. singers require a lot of air intake before a phrase.. and well.. it's those deep breaths that activate something that makes me cough.. and once I cough.. i cna't stop.. it's annoying as all heck!

I'm not letting this stop me from all that I have to do. However, I do know that I am not fully recovered and too much work can easily bring me into a relapse. I just don't like being slowed down. I have a lot to do in life.

Is this God's way of telling me to slow down???