So what do i do.. his sisters having a baby.. he wants me to be there.. i don't wanna be there.. yet i do wanna be there... i should be there.. but i shouldn't be there.. i feel really bad.. i don' t feel like going.. i'm scared.. i don't wanna go.. but i feel like i should go.. and i do kinda wanna go.. but i dunno!!! This is sooo hard.. i love him.. i really do.. i love him with everthing i am...
I just don't feel like i'm trying as hard as he is.. he's done soo much.. i haven't done half of what he's done... i'm not making the effort he is..
I feel selfish.. like i want him to try his hardest to work his way into my family.. yet i won't return the favor... i know that i have this problem yet i don't do anything to remedy it... i don't try.. i know i don't try.. and i still don't do anything to fix it..
Why do i have to do this.. he doesn't deserve someone like me...
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