I'm so damned fat! I'm gonna try on dresses tomorrow and i wont fit into any of them cuz i'm a lard ass! i cant wait to get married. But sometimes i feel like i'm doubting myself. Do i really wanna marry him or do i just wanna get married?? Do i really love him or do i just like being in love??
I doubt myself everytime he's not around. But then when i see him.. i realize how much i do love him and that mekes me feel better. it just scares me that i think these things when we arent together.
Its just weird how things turn out this way. i never in my wildest dreams thought that we would even end up together. i never even thought he was even relationship material. i was perfectly happy and content with it being a show fling and just never seeing him again after clue was done. i never thought that i would fall so deeply in love with him and actually marry him. its great.
but i'm still waiting for lifes downfall..... life never allows me to be this content....
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