Epiphany!

So I finally figured out why i've been so sexually worked up lately... it's simple.. Sex and the City... I've watched the first disc and i was sooo worked up and good gawd.. and now i just finished watching the second disc.. and ya.. i'm so wanting to do it.. imagine.. i've got how many more of these DVDs i have to go through.. there were how many seasons to this show???

Oh well.. maybe after awhile I will be desensitized.. it's just the initial effect.. it'll go away after awhile.. i just can't give into it.. plus.. he's waiting.. AGAIN.. so i know i'm not gonna get any... so i couldn't give into it even if i wanted it..

I'm not complaining.. i'm actually really really glad that I don't have a horn-dog for a fiance.. i mean.. not so much that he isn't a horn-dog.. it's jsut that he's great enough to have the control to actually WANT to wait.. i like that.. i really do... and i'm seriously not just saying that.. i admire him for it.. and this time.. i swear i'll let him wait.. i really will... cuz i know that's what he really truly wants... no matter what.. i know.. i actually kinda feel bad for what happened on friday.. i knew i wanted it.. i've been wanting it for that past week.. and i know he wanted it.. but i know he wanted to wait to.. he was determined that time around to wait.. and i screwed that up for him... and i feel bad.. i truly feel bad for what happened..

So if he reads this.. i just wanna say 'sorry' for being so selfish.. and i swear that i'm going to respect your wishes.. and i'm going to let you wait. i love you so much and i know that once we get married.., everything will be great. So.. you go ahead and wait.. and i'll wait right there beside you.. i promise...