Why can't I do that?!

Seriously.. I'm mad!

I mean.. here I am.. in my room.. sitting here listening to the goings-on in the house.. my brother is peeved.. what's new.. and he can easily yell at my mother and anyone else in this house.. yet.. does not get repremanded for it..

How is that possible?!

How come he can yell and treat everyone like crap.. especially me.. and get away with it?

Just because he's the youngest? Just because he's a guy?

This has been going on all our lives.. I'd go out of my way to be nice to everyone in the family.. yet.. i'm not allowed to show any kind of bad emotion. I'm not allowed to lash out. I'm not allowed to raise my voice. I'm just supposed to keep all my bad feelings inside and not lash out.

I was never allowed to have a higher tone of voice than my mothers. No matter how angry I was, no matter how upset I am..

Yet.. here is his.. getting all mad and peeved and telling her to leave him alone.. and yet.. she doesn't yell.. not even once.. she doesn't even get annoyed..

How is that possible?

How has he ALWAYS been able to get away with this kind of behavior without gettting repremanded..

I remember the one time I told my mother to leave me alone.. i was inundated with a two hour lecture about how ungreatful I am as a daughter..

Why does he always get away with being to lash out his feelings or to snap with his emotions.. while I was always told to not do so..

Why does she think that I always just end up blowing up after awhile?!

How is this fair?

It's effin' bullsh*t..