Redgage/Gather

I have been all over redgage and gather posting and posting and posting that I have totally neglected my wordpress blog and this blogger blog.

I guess because there is no monetary incentive to posting blogs here..

Then again, it's not like I'm bringing in the big bucks by posting stuff on there..

On Redgage, I have about $.20 collected from views of the stuff that I've posted. It's hard to get started on getting an active viewer base.. as is with any blog or website.. it's a slow beginning..

I have problems concentrating on a specific subject I should write about and sometimes the creative energy just isn't there to make a good posting on those sites.. as is with any blog or website I have.. I am just not creatively "on the ball" all the time..

On Gather.. I've got about 800+ points.. which I am trying to accumulate enough to get a $25 gift card to Amazon.com. I know that the more stuff I post.. the more points I get.. but again.. the creativity is just not there all the time..

Also.. with having to concentrate on school work.. it's hard to find time to really dive into the websites and get enough people to view my stuff..

Gotta keep on pushing.. I guess..

Extra dough

Extra money is always a good thing.. but I really don't have time to get an extra job.. so I found ways to make some extra money while doing the things I love.. going on the internet.. blogging.. yadda.. yadda..

I've found two great websites that have helped me with this extra money..

Redgage
This site allows you to post blog entries, pictures, links and stuff.. and it gives you money based on how many people view your stuff.. you get more money the more people view your stuff and leave comments for them. It encourages you to write good content... and to be interactive with others as well..

Gather
It's similar to Redgage, but it's based on a points system and these points can be redeemed for paypal payments.. or gift cards. I use this place to get target gift cards.. it' saves me money on everyday necessity shopping. They recently revamped their points system, so everyone's getting used to the way it works.. and my points seem to be accumulating a little faster than before.. so we'll see how well this works..

Clicking on the link sends you to my referral site where you can sign up with my referral.. check it out.. it's all free to join!

Shenanigans..

Fourth of July weekend was full of fun.. heat.. and heat..

It was HOOOOOT!

The thing I noticed about San Diego though.. was it blaring hot in the morning.. not as hot as the I.E.. but it was hot enough to complain about the heat.. but by 5ish in the early evening.. the cool breeze kicks in.. and then I'm freezing by 9pm..

Seriously?

Being from the Inland Empire.. the middle of the desert.. heat is something I'm used to in the summer.. but what I love most about summers here is that the heat last throughout the day.. and leaves a comfortable evening where I don't have to bring a sweater.. and I can still be in my shorts.. and not feel any cold..

That is why I didn't bring a sweater with me this weekend because I wasn't thinking that the weather down there would be any different..

I don't think I like that it gets cold at night there..

I like the comfort of Inland Empire summer nights.. ahh.. nice.

Slightly discouraged..

So tuition increased.. I got that email about a month ago.. so I don't know why I was so shocked to see the increase when I got a notification email this morning..

$2070..

Taking two classes in a row means I'll have to pay again next month.. I think.. something like that..

Plus bills..

Looks like I'm going to be "el negativo" with this month and next months expenses..

With all the pending salary cuts.. and furlough days.. I don't think I'd survive financially..

It's definitely time for a change.. thank God!

Two more months.. and I'm out of here.. hello.. Fullerton!

Counting down..

I'm sitting here at work.. 75 days left until I leave this facility and go back to the lab I worked at in fullerton.

That was the lab I worked at when I first start blogging on this blog.. full circle.. I'm going back.

I won't be the same lab-rat with the same lab-rat responsibilities though.. because I have grown.. personally.. and career-wise.. I'll have a different job with a different set of responsibilities..

I'm excited.. I'm growing up.. and growing out.. and I cant' wait for all the opportunities this holds for me..

I kinda hope I get to travel a little bit.. but I know that won't come for awhile..

I'll miss this lab.. the work.. the close-to-home-ness.. the short communte..

It's for the best.. God knows what is going to happen.. and I'm just following the path He's put me on..

Whoa..

Has it really been almost a month since my last post on this blog.. wow!

Poor Blogger.. I've set up camp at Wordpress and have been doing fairly well with that blog that I have neglected the blog that pretty much started my "blog craze."

This was always my first "mature blog" and now.. it's been left behind.. I will try not to let this happen.. I like this blog too much.. I have a fond sentimental attachement to this site and I don't want to see it neglected.

I added a swagbucks widget.. so that should mean that I should be here more often than not from now on.. check the widget out.. it's a search engine that will randomly give away "swag bucks" that are good for redeeming things.. like music.. cameras.. books.. etc..

I'm aiming for some sorta digital camcorder.. I've got a ways to go.. but any little search helps. It helps that I am doing research for class.. so I have good reason to be on the site..

Back to work!

Shopping and bopping..

Joe and I had a great Memorial Day weekend out of town. We went to Santa Monica and had fun at the beach and around Los Angeles and Beverly Hills..

We hit two malls and loved every second of it.

I'm in a "shopping" mood.. and right now.. it's more a "window shopping" thing than an actual shopping thing..

I also saw this really pretty engagement ring at the Tiffany & Co. Not that he and I are going to be engaged anytime soon.. but it was really fun to look..

I told Joe that was what I wanted.. but I looked at the price.. and it is waaaaay too much to be spending on an engagement ring.. haha.. $10K is too much for an engagement ring.. that's like.. half of the wedding budget.. that's a definite no..

Hahah.. well.. it's not like our engagement and wedding is happening anytime soon.. so there's lots of time to find something he's willing to buy me.. hahah.. lots of time..

Feelin' it..

I swear.. this has to be the longest month I am experiencing in my life..

Granted.. it does seem like the week went by quickly.. it just feels like we should be at the last week of May or something..

I always complain that the time flies by crazily and it's so hard to keep up.. but this month is ridiculous..

I think it's because I have got lots to look forward to at the end of the month.. the anniversary weekend.. and then the Vegas week vacation..

I just want this class to be over already.. it's a long needed vacation.. and a long-deserved weekend away with my boyfriend..

I'm procrastinating.. this paper needs to get written so I can work on the final paper so I have nothing to worry about on the anniversary weekend..

That should be motivation enough to get me cranking on the paper.. I have no idea why it isn't!!

Hey day.. may day..

It never ceases to amaze me how fast the years go by as I get older.. the months fly by like is just this ever-increasing momentum that is zooming us faster and faster through time..

Time never stops for anyone.. nor will it slow down for anyone.. no matter how much I try to ask for it..

Sometime.. all I need is an extra hour in the day.. an extra hour to sleep.. an extra hour of the day to do more things.. an extra hour for homework.. an extra day in the week to be able to relax and get things done..

But I gotta keep moving with the time.. and I gotta make sure I'm keeping up with it all.. I can't fall behnd because there is no such thing as falling behind time..

Oh boy.. let's hope that I continue to remain calm.. and keep my sanity through all of this..

This class is killin' me.. it really is..

La.. dee.. dah!

Click it.. live it.. love it.. learn it.. and continue reading it..

I've been spending a lot of time working on the blog above.. it's the go-to blog now.. I try to make it interesting.. less rambling.. less venting.. I try to spend more time thinking about what I am going to write before I enter something there..

So.. give it a shot.. go over there.. gimme some "viewer love.." and while you're at it.. some "comment love" would be nice..

Living life in the carpool lane..

Stitching queen!

I've been cross-stitching like crazy lately.. there are two cross-stitching projects that I had started last year.. and never finished.. but I'm finishing one of them now.. and that's cool..

Cross-stitching is relaxing for me.. I like watching something come together.. a couple of stitches.. looking like a blob of threaded colors.. suddenly.. from afar.. a whole picture comes to play.. it looks so cool..

I can't wait til the finished results.. I've got them on facebook.. I'm taking pictures of the progress.. when I finish.. I'm going to try to sell it on Etsy.com..

Can't wait!

Sleepy head..

I've been very "sleepyhead" lately.. I think it's because I have been sleeping a tad later than I usually do.. but not by much.. maybe a half an hour or so.. I guess that's late enough to cause some real sleepiness..

Oh man.. am I really getting old.. are the hours of sleep really affecting me this way?

Gosh..

These are the special times..

It's Good Friday.. a time to reflect on all that Jesus Christ has done for us.. all the suffering he endured for our sins.. and to thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us..

Be mindful and prayerful.. remember what this day means to us.. and don't forget to celebrate the Resurrection on Easter Sunday..

These truly are blessed days!

The hardest part..

I think the hardest part about being in a relationship with someone that lives an hour and a half away is the fact that you can't see him when you want to..

Granted.. the distance is good.. it gives us perspective and prevents us from getting tired of each other too fast..

This distance prevents us from over-exposing ourselves to each other..

But when you want him around.. just for a simple hug.. or for a quick dinner.. or just to be around to tell him about your day.. it's kinda difficult..

The cell phone and text messages become your best friend and most reliable liason between the two of you.

It's hard.. but I know that if we keep working on it.. things will change.. and we will eventually be close enough to each other to have those quick dinners.. or those moments when you just want to be next to each other..

But then.. you'll also get those moments when you wish he did live an hour and a half way from you again.. hahaha.. I doubt it..

This distance will hopefully allow us to appreciate what we have when we are together and will allow us to cherish the time we will have together always..

If only it will come sooner than later.. :-)

April sneaks up again..

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time really does fly.

My boyfriend and I just recently celebrated the one year anniversary of us meeting each other. We can now say we've known each other for a year now..

Next up is the anniversary of our first day.. and then the anniversary of our actual declaration of our relationship..

I can't believe a year has flown by already..

My friend's babies are all turning a year old.. my other friend is going to have her baby soon..

Other friends are getting married..

I'm almost done with my MBA.. I just finished another class.. and by the looks of it.. I should only have about five more to go.. it seems like only yesterday that I started.. and it's true.. that only last year.. about one year ago in March.. I decided to pursue the MBA.. now I'm in the home stretch..

Time.. time.. time..

Here's to another fun-filled month! Enjoy it while it lasts!

Keurig.. my friend..

We have a Keurig coffee machine. It's that cool one that uses those little cups of pre-measured coffee.. you put it in one part.. put water.. and press a button..

Poof..

A perfect sized cup of coffee..

Ok.. so I gave up coffee for Lent.. but I think we already established this in a previous entry..

But did you know that Keurig has teas and hot chocolate as well?

They do.. and that is wonderful!

They have quite a selection at the Bed, Bath and Beyond..

Execellente!

Sickly..

I've been out of work for three days..

I'm finally going to go to the doctor to give me meds because I know I have a sinus infection.

It's Joe's birthday weekend too..

So sad.. I hope I feel better..

On a happier note.. I'm all over the NCAA March Madness.. it's so much fun keeping up with it all..

Just makes it so hard to keep up with my homework.. even tho I've been using these past few days to really make the most of my school time.. yay me!

Another quarter..

The first quarter of the year is flying by. We are halfway through March and it seems like I didn't get anything accomplished this month.

I actually have no idea where the first few weeks of March went.. or what I even did!

Now we are on the downward slope to the end of March.. and I have no idea what i want to accomplish.

Seems like time is running away from all of us..

Will we ever be able to catch it..

Work out!

I went to my Zumba class today.. first time since I was in Arizona..

It kicked my booty..

Then.. I went home.. and had a nice big serving of Sinigang.. my favoritest filipino food of all time..

Yummmy..

There goes my workout!

Check some linkage..

Ok.. now's the time to show off some linkage..

For starters.. there's my other blog.. Living life in the carpool lane..

Then.. there's my YouTube channel.. Artsyviray's Channel..

My Yelp page.. http://artsyviray.yelp.com

Uh.. I also have a Facebook.. and Myspace.. but I won't post those links here..

I'm tech savvy.. or I just have no life..

My coffee!

I gave up coffee for Lent.

I gave up coffee and frivolous shopping for things..

That means I can't drink coffee.. and I can't buy shoes.. purses.. dresses.. tops.. etc..

The shopping thing is fine.. I can live without it..

I'm struggling with the coffee..

We got a new Keurig coffee maker.. the one with the pods.. and you just slip a pod.. a cup of water.. press a button.. poof! A cup of coffee..

I don't even get to enjoy it right now..

When's Easter again??

The things I love..

I love being in California.. I wrote blog entry that you can read here about the things I didn't realize I take for granted because I live in California.

I don't know what I caught being Arizona all week.. but every afternoon I've been having a low-grade fever and massive headache. I'm hoping that this sick I'm experiencing will go away soon because I have a high school reunion to attend this weekend.

It's also going to be a boyfriend weekend.. and I haven't seen the boyfriend in awhile.. and I had been gone in Arizona last week.

Now he knows how I felt while he was in Asia..

Freezing and grumpy..

It is cold and wet in Southern California.

This sucks.. I hate this kind of weather. It makes me want to stay in bed all day under my covers and not do anything but sleep.

I wrote a blog recap of my awesome Valentine's Day weekend.. and it can be read by clicking here.

It was a really fun weekend and it made me enjoy valentines day for the first time in a long time. It was really sweet and fun and I laughed.. a lot.

Gosh.. it's freezing and I can't feel my fingers. It's making it impossible to type of this blog entry.. I get dizzy when I stand up for a long period of time because I am so tired.. and my heart is racing because I'm not feeling good.

Maybe I'm getting sick.. but I better not be because I'm on a business trip all week next week.. yikes!

So cold!

I am absolutely FREEZING!

This California girl is sooo not used to this freezing weather. She can't channel her inner "native Rhode Island girl" inside her and enjoy this cold weather.

I left Rhode Island when I was two years old. From Rhode Island, we went to California.. and it's pretty much where I've been ever since..

My mom used to tell me stories of how I used to love being outside in the snow. My cheeks would get all red.. but I wouldn't care.

Then again.. I was just a toddler.. stuff like that doesn't phase kids of that age.. as long as there is fun to be had.. they don't care what the circumstances..

I'm a total California girl all the way and I can't imagine myself living anywhere else but here. I need the warmth of Southern California..

And I know that this cold is probably NOTHING like what people back east are experiencing.. but darn it.. it's cold to me..

I've got two jackets on and a thermal long-sleeved top..

It's just not enough.

I hope you all have found ways to stay warm..

Today..

So.. I started the day off at work pretty happy because I had a buttload of things to do. I set out all my plates and made sure that everything was in the right spot.

My deck looked really full because I set out the entire days workload to warm up to room temperature.

I was happy.

Then.. they ask me if I needed help.. and I said I was good.. I'll be able to handle it all..

Slowly.. one by one.. someone else has been doing my work for me.. and now I'm left with only one more thing left to do when I had the whole day planned out and it all totally worked out and I would have been busy all day and very productive.

AHHHH!

I said I could do it!!!!

Now.. I'm pissed.

First Valentine's Day Weekend Extravaganza!!!

This weekend is going to be the boyfriend and mine's first Valentine's Day. It falls on a three-day weekend, and so we are pretty much going to make the most of it.. I think.

I have never been one for Valentine's Day. I'm not too into the candy and flowers and overtly nice romantic gestures.. well.. to occur on THAT day..

I'm more of an anniversary type person.. do those things on our anniversary. That's where the romance should happen. An anniversary commemorates the day that you two became a couple.. unless you got together on Valentines Day.. then that's a whole new story.

I think we're going to stay in that day. We're going to cook dinner and have a nice little dinner for us at my house. Parents will be partying with their friends, and I'm not sure what the little brother is doing.. but for the most part..the house will be our own.

I think it will be fun this weekend. I don't want to expect anything.. just a good comfortable time with a guy that makes me happy and comfy cozy.

Sweet.

Oh my stars..

It was a fun weekend. I had the boyfriend over this weekend. That always brightens the mood.

My friend had been telling me for the longest time that there is a strong resemblance between the boyfriend and I. She said she is in the same situation as her husband and they used to constantly be mistaken as brother and sister. She said that eventually.. that may start happening to us.

Well.. yesterday.. it did.

We were eating at a Japanese restaurant with my mother after Mass.

My mother was talking to the waiter about how her children love the food at the restaurant we were in. The waiter then looks at us as if implying that the boyfriend and I were her children.

Ha!

Weird.

I don't see it. I really don't.

Do you?

From Us.. in Anaheim

Boredom!!!

I'm at work and I have had nothing to do since this morning!

It's insane!

I wrote a cheesy blog entry.. that can be read here..

And have been trying to look busy ever since..

All the people I usually text at work are busy..

I'm bored outta my mind..

I need someone to send me something.. or else this day will be a complete waste of time!

Boo!

Zoom.. there it goes again..

Ok.. who else thought February creeped up on us outta nowhere?

You can't see it, but I'm raising my hand...

We are going to find ourselves wondering where 2009 went again. Time is moving so fast.. after I kept complaining about how slow it was going at the beginning of the year..

That was because I was missing my boyfriend a lot.. of course time is going to go slow when you want it to pick up the pace..

Now that life is back to normal.. time is racing at lightning speed again..

I look back at January and see nothing.. remember nothing.. except the Vegas trip.. and the reunion date.. which only occured about two weeks ago.. other than that.. I spent a good part of January moping around missing the boyfriend..

Waiting for his texts..

Waiting for his emails..

Trying to make the most of our time apart by trying to do stuff.. but not really having the energy to do much..

Did I waste my January??

I want to think I didn't..

I'm going to make sure I don't waste my February. It's going to be busy anyway..

I find myself in Phoenix, Arizona on the last week of February. It'll be for work, and it's a trip all by myself..

How's that for makin' memories?!?!

Tag! Not it!

I was tagged on Facebook. I was to write 25 random facts about me. Now, I'm not going to go around tagging everyone, but I would like to share what I wrote. It just gives everyone another opportunity to get to know a little bit more about me.

1. I hate horror movies.. but LOVE watching shows about supernatural and paranormal stuff..

2. I watched nothing but Filipino stuff and Tagalog stuff for about a year and a half.. until my mom made me stop cuz she said I was developing an accent..

3. I am freakishly afraid of bugs.. even when they are encased in glass.. and dead..

4. I would love to have a kid some day.. but I am deathly afraid of the weight gain and stretch marks..

5. I was born in Rhode Island. I only moved to California when I was two years old.

6. I would rather email, text, or chat online with a person than talk on the phone.

7. My current boyfriend is my first Filipino boyfriend. I had attempted to date another Filipino in college but that was just a very wierd situation.

8. I didn't sing for many, many years because I was always very self-conscious about my singing voice. I still cringe at the thought of hearing myself sing, and I always look for approval. I am terrified of being off-key.

9. I did background work for the television show, Boston Public. I had recorded every episode I appeared it, then my dad taped them over with whatever show he wanted to record.

10. I have a weakness for purses, shoes and other accessories. The more expensive they are, the better.

11. If I find a quote I like in a movie or a TV show, I will use it until everyone gets sick of it. Sorry!

12. When I was younger, I told my parents that when I grew up I wanted to be a waitress at McDonalds. True story.

13. My boyfriend thinks I cry too easily. I just tell him I'm not a robot devoid of feelings.. like him. That usually shuts him up.

14. I know every line to the Sound Of Music and can recite it along with the movie. This was because I spent a few summers watching that movie everyday growing up.

15. I want to run my own business and be my own boss, but I'm not quite sure what I want my business to be.

16. I like doing crafty things, like crocheting and cross-stitching. However, I can't knit to save my life. I have been known to throw my knitting needles across the room out of frustration.

17. If I could, I could eat any kind of Asian soup everyday.

18. I used to make Christmas goodie platters for friends and family during the holidays. One year, some people paid me to make some for their friends and family. I wish I had more time to do that again.

19. I have a weakness for French Fries.. especially the fat and soggy kind.

20. If I could, I would pay people do things for me.. but I don't have that kind of money.

21. I barely saw a picture of my paternal grandmother last year when I went to Guam to visit my dying Grandfather. My little brother is the spitting image of her.

22. I'm allergic to wine.

23. I can sing on a stage for any show, but singing the meditation song, or doing the responsorial psalm at Mass makes me nervous to the point that I want to throw up!

24. I recently forgot how to tie shoe laces until someone had to show me again.

25. I will fall in love with any guy that will bake me chocolate chip cookies.. someone should tell Joe..

Hope you enjoy! And don't forget to check out my other blog.. click here..

Scattered thoughts..

There isn't much to say at the moment.. I need to vent some feelings out and I really don't know where to start.. I tried about eight times to start this entry.. and everytime.. I deleted it because it just didn't sound right..

I'm not insecure.. I'm not depressed.. I just have things on my mind that need to get out.. I'm confused.. maybe worried.. a little scared.. I just know I'm not the me I was this weekend..

I'm just out of sorts again..

I was settled last week.. this week.. I'm not so sure..

I feel complacent.. I need movement.. I need something exciting to come.. move me forward..

I started this year so pumped... I started this year so inspired that things were going to change for the better..

My impatience is getting the best of me as I look at the end of January and find that I went no where..

I really need to learn to just give myself time.. I thought I trusted in God and His time?

Sometimes I seem to forget that.. this is that "sometime.."

I need a day out.. I thought I got that in Vegas.. and I did.. but as much fun as I did have.. there were places to go that I didn't go to.. things to see that I didn't see.. we just ran out of time..

And that's the thing I always feel like I'm running out of.. time.. there is never enough time to get all that I want done.. it's discouraging.. when it should press me to move on.. and to work hard to get as much done as I can.. should it?

That should be my new outlook.. life is short.. time is scarce.. I gotta make the most of the time I have.. work hard to get as many things done as I can.. and look back and know that even if I didn't finish it all.. I sure did a lot with my life.. and for that I should be proud..

If it were only that easy.. but lets work on that..

For more reading.. try my other blog.. "Living life in the carpool lane.."

Easing back into life..

Well.. my Vegas vacation came and went.. my boyfriend came back home from his three week long Asian adventure..

Life is slowly coming back to the same routine.. the same comfortable pace that we had left behind during the Christmas season.

I've noticed how much calmer I seem to be since my boyfriend came back. I no longer have that worried feeling that nags behind me in the back of my head while he was away.. I am a lot more easy going now that he's back.. I didn't realize how much I was going to miss him while he was away.. and I didn't realize how much I want to see him now that he's back..

I'll be seeing him this weekend, so that makes me happy.. I can't wait!

School is also in full swing.. so I've been dealing with that..

Life is moving on.. holidays are over.. vacations are over.. it's time to slip back into "real life.."

I'm still very excited for what this year is going to bring.. like last year.. I believe that this will be a great year..

I hope you have all been checking out my other blog.. a newer blog.. found by clicking here.

I'm going to Disneyland.. someday..

Disneyland.. I'm an annual passholder. I have been an annual passholder for the past two years. It was a lot of money, but it worked for me because for the years prior to that.. I was going several times a year and paying full price for a ticket. Getting an annual pass just fit my visitation to the park financially.

A lot of people think I'm crazy for wanting to go so many times. A lot of people think I'm a little too old to be visiting a place like that. But I am at the age and point in my life that I can afford to do things that I have always wanted to do and going to Disneyland a lot was one of them.

Does it really matter what everyone else thinks? I'm not using their money to pay for my pass...

I haven't been to Disneyland since November.

I missed out on a Disneyland Christmas. I always loved going to Disneyland during Christmas time.. everything is soo festive and beautiful..

February.. definitely February..

For more reading.. and a list of my other guilty pleasures.. click here for my other blog..

Sloooooooow..

To read another blog of mine..click here!

I am seriously going out of my mind with the slow pace of the week. I already knew that this would happen since I am looking forward to something on the weekend.. but this is ridiculous..

I kinda also expected my workdays to feel longer after we switched around our rotations and I got a set of jobs that tend to be slow on some days.. and hectic on other days.. I think we're going through a slow period right now..

I honestly don't mind being swamped..makes the time speed up and the week fly by..

The week flies by when I'm at home doing homework.. so I guess that's my consolation..

Tonight.. I have another excercise class. Looks like I've got 2009 off to a fairly good start.. I hope I keep it that way..

I figure I'll just take one month at a time.. it doesn't seem as overwhelming when you think of it in shorter intervals..

Slow and steady wins the race.. or so I've been told..

Monday.. before Vegas..

It's the work week before the Vegas trip. I'm looking forward to it. The one thing I am NOT looking forward to is the drive out there.. I'm driving there and my daddy's drivin back.

I'm going to need lots of caffiene and lotsa good music..

There you go.. gotta remember to pack some CDs..

I am sooo bored right now. Monday's are always slow for the rotation I am in right now. Nothing comes in on the weekends, and so there isn't anything to do.. ugh.. but I gotta look busy cuz being idle doesn't fly at work..

This past weekend was fun. I got to spend time with my favorite best girlfriends in the world. We had lunch at this great dim sum place in San Diego. Watched a few movies.. had a lot of laughs and talked about stuff..

That is always fun.. and I always look forward to the times that I can do that with them..

Well.. the clock is ticking and tocking at the slowest pace known to man.. but I gotta go and look busier than I am already pretending to be..

For an update on my new blog.. click here!

I think I'm goin' outta my head..

Half an hour.

I have half an hour until I can finally go home.. eat.. do some homework.. then go to choir practice.. go home.. prep the christmas gifts I have for my best friend and her daughter.. then sleep..

Only to wake up early and start my day..

Sounds busy.. but it helps make time go faster in a time that i want time to go faster..

It's actually gotten a lot easier over time.. dealing with missing the boyfriend.. it's not as agonizingly slow.. and it feels like when he's back home and we can't see each other for a few weeks..

It's pretty much the same thing.. except he's halfway around the world..

I knew that time would make it easier.. but it doesn't mean I miss him less.. and I really can't wait to see him..

But at least I'm not all outta sorts about it now..

At least I don't think I am.. maybe I'm just in denial..

Oh.. and if you wanna read about my latest endeavor into the world of exercise.. read this..

Rockin... and rollin.. and whatnot..

Yesterday I was watching The Notebook..

Gosh.. I love that movie.. it's like.. love.. in it's most perfect form..

Nicholas Sparks really knows how to tug on the heart strings with all his love stories.. he's the same man who wrote "A Walk To Remember.." another one of those perfect love stories with perfect love all around..

What I would give to have a guy like Noah.. or a guy like Landon.. from The Notebook and A Walk To Remember.. respectively..

But life and love aren't perfect.. at least in the human sense.. it's just a matter of working through life and love.. and keeping our heads above water..

Those two movies are definitely on my top 5 movies to watch whenever you need a good cleansing cry..

They were playing at the same time on TV.. I stumbled upon the end of A Walk To Remember after I finished The Notebook.. I own both movies.. so I don't have to worry about missing it..

Made me miss my boyfriend tho.. but he'll be home before we know it..

For further reading.. visit my other blog.. by clicking here..

Change rotation..

We changed rotations at work.. so now I have sooo much time on my hands..

I think I liked it better when I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off..

I'm also under the weather.. I'm a little dizzy and it's hard to breathe.. and I'm experiencing some tachycardia right now..

Ugh.. I usually go home.. but I got things to do at work.. but if really can't handle this.. I better go home.. so i don't get worse!

Oh ya.. and read this.. it's a new entry on my new blog..

Tension..

I'm doing it again..

Clenching my jaw so that the whole lower half of my head hurts.. I dont know why.. I guess I've just been so tense and out of sorts lately.

Again.. I didn't realize how much of an impact missing my boyfriend would have on me.

Top it off.. the internet connection in his hotel room is tripping out and so he has to go to an internet cafe to get a hold of me or any of his internet obligations..

We were talking at least once a day.. now I don't know when I'll talk to him.. I suppose this makes it easier.. without hearing from him I'm just going to have to deal with it..

Sometimes it makes me miss him more to read emails and texts from him.. but again.. I'm not complaining..

A little less than two more weeks and he's home.. and I'm gone..

I hope I can have fun in Vegas.. I need it.. I need the diversion.. and Vegas is always a good place to have such diversion..

http://artsyprincess.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/a-word/

Workaholic..

So.. I worked all weekend at my old job in Orange County. We finished the big bulk of the project we've been working on. All that's left are the repeats which he can do on his own hours in the lab on the weekdays.

I'm tired.

I've got a full week's work ahead of me and the classes for my MBA are starting up again.

I can feel the headache coming on.. yikes!

Well.. whatever makes the time go faster.. and the faster the time goes.. the faster i get to go to Las Vegas..

Actually.. the one thing I am looking most forward to is the return of my boyfriend back home.. even though I won't be seeing him right away.. I find a comfort in knowing that he's only an hour and a half away from me.. and not a whole half-a-world away from me..

I seriously didn't think I'd miss him as much as I do.. it's surprising..

How the Eve went..

My countdown to 2009 was rather eventful.

Not in the way that most people would think. It all had a happy ending, but getting there was pure torture.

It started off like any other day off. I slept in.. then ran some errands. Got my nails done and threaded my eyebrows in preparation for the nights festivities.

In the afternoon, I proceeded to take a nap. I knew it was going to be a long night of partying and I learned that as I am getting older.. it gets harder and harder to stay up later and later. I realize I am not longer the spring chicken I used to be..

Anyway.. during my nap I get a text message from my best friend.

She tells me not to worry but just wanted to know if Joe was ok because there was a fire in a club in Bangkok and several people were killed and hundred or so more were injured.

Of course.. I start to worry. I hadn't heard from him the whole day. Usually, by the late afternoon and early evening I would have heard from him.. either through a text on my phone or through an email.

I hadn't heard from him at all.

So my mind starts racing. I'm frantically emailing him.. I tried calling.. and obviously his phone was off..

I was a mess.

By the time the family had to leave to go to my aunts house for the countdown.. I was a huge pile of tears. I neglected to do my makeup.. and I forgot my camera and I was totally not my chipper-self.

My mind and prayers were on the other side of the world hoping that he was just asleep or busy elsewhere..

Luckily.. after about three or four agonizing hours.. I hear from him telling me he was ok and that he hadn't realized there was a club fire. Thank God he was at another place ringing in the new year.

I was able to relax the rest of the night but it really exhausted me. I hadn't realized until then how much I actually cared about him and how badly I would have felt if I wouldn't have him around anymore.

It was a wake up call to how I seem to really feel about him.

God likes to speak to me.. but He didn't have to scare me half to death!

There are methods to my madness..

So.. one way I have found to not miss the traveling boyfriend so much is shopping. The day after Christmas I found myself in the local mall in the city that my cousin and his family live.

I bought shoes.. makeup.. and some sweaters.. and tea.

They have this awesome tea shop that sells custom teas. Marvelous. They had these sample teas and so we bought some. I can't seem to replicate how well the made the tea. For some reason my version is always a little too watered down. I think that I need to put more leaves and possibly steep it for much longer. I also don't seem to put enough sweetener as they do.

I'm determined to make this tea as flavorful as they store did. I'm getting close!

The shopping is only a temporary fix to trying to not miss this boy so much.

I mean, it's not like we don't spend this much time apart as it is. It's going to be four weeks apart. He's gone for three but I'll be gone the weekend he gets back.. so we'll have to wait another work week before we can see each other.

We've done four weeks apart before.

Does the distance really make a difference?

Or is it the fact that he isn't as readily accesible via text messages like he is when he is at home?

Is it a combination of all those things?

This weekend I will be able to keep myself busy because I will be working with my old boss on the project we have been trying to finish for a few weeks now.

Then the next weekend will be spent with my closest girlfriends. It'll be a girls-only thing because they know that I am going nutso missing my boyfriend while their hubbies are all with them.

The weekend after that is the weekend he returns but it is also the weekend I will be in Las Vegas with my family.

So.. when you look at things according the calendar.. it really doesn't seem like much time will pass.. and it looks like time should move quickly..

But reality is not making it so.. for the first time in what seems like years.. time is moving waaay too slow for me..

Madness..

New year.. brings new.. blogs?!

Happy New Year everyone.

May the Lord bless each and every one of you with a happy and healthy and prosperous 2009.

I started a new blog on WordPress.

I'm not neglecting this one. I am going to juggle the two blogs.

Feel free to join me there too..

http://artsyprincess.wordpress.com/

2008.. only a few days left!

I can't believe we are on the last few days of 2008. It seems like only yesterday we were ringing in the new year.. now the whole year has zoomed on by.. and we're ready to start 2009.

I used to take the time to re-evaluate my life and how much it hasn't changed or progressed at all.

This year is different.. because I do feel changed and I do feel like I've made progress..

So.. there's no need for an in-depth evaluation and some time to feel sorry for myself.. because I don't..

I'm excited about what's to come in the new year. I'm excited for what 2009 will bring me.. I'm sure there will be the ups and downs of time.. and I know that I will come out of it standing tall..

It just seems like sometimes the years seem to go TOO fast..

So.. now the time just drags..

Funny how time plays with your head.

You know that the time doesn't speed up or slow down.. but when you want things to slow down.. or you want time to speed up.. your brain makes it seem that everything is moving in the opposite speed you desire.

Am I even making sense?!

I just feel like I'm not all here right now..

Maybe I just miss him a lot.. but I know that as the time passes.. it will get a little easier.. and then the weeks will fly by and he'll be home before I realize..

Looking at the calendar makes it seem like such a short time.. but it's feeling like eternity.

I just want him to stay safe and healthy.. and have a good time..

Popped back into YouTube!

Too fast..

The day is speeding by way to quickly.. and the faster time goes.. the faster we get to dropping off boyfriend to the airport for his trip to Asia.

Pray for a safe trip for him.

Pray that he comes back in one piece.. healthy.. and full of reasons to miss me like crazy..

Three weeks..

I just want him to stay safe..

Precious and few..

Are the moments we two can share....

Hmmm.. why do I have that song stuck in my head at 12:30am!

I suppose I'm having a hard time sleeping because I pretty much slept a good five hours when I got home today.

Bad reaction to drinking a lot of wine during Mass today..

Had to consume the left over consecrated Blood of Christ.. and well.. in it's wine-state.. the sulfites and whatnot are still present.. and.. well.. that never sits well in my system.

Passed out bad at the restaurant we were eating in.. and had to be shipped off via ambulance to the emergency room to make sure that everything was ok..

Ended up with a migraine headache.. they gave me some strong headache meds.. and some benadryl.. which both BURN going into my system via an IV drip.. yow!

Was discharged.. and went home and crashed on the couch.. woke up for a bit with the ever-so-caring boyfriend called to see if I was really ok..

I am ok now.. kinda awake.. but I know once I shut this computer down.. I'll fall asleep...

About three more days til Christmas.. and I have barely gotten anything done!

One year ago... yesterday..

Flip a coin..

Heads, you lose.

Tails, you lose.

Either way, you lose.

Either way, you're just unhappy.

Time heals all wounds, but the scars stay forever.

You live, you learn. You learn not to love again. You learn not to trust in love again. You learn not to fall again.

One right after the other.. failed.. failed.. failed..

"It wasn't meant to be."

"He wasn't the right one for you."

"You'll find that right guy especially when you stop looking."

You start to see through all those lies. They no longer make you feel better. You'd rather be alone.

Why would I get entangeled in such a mess again?

Why would I subject myself to all the hurt and the ups and downs again?

It's like smoking. You start to know that it's bad for you, yet you still do it and you still get involved. You know very well the affects it has, and you know so many people hurt by the affects. Yet, you still do it.

Not anymore.

I'm done.

I can't get hurt anymore.

I can't cry over another guy anymore.

I can't get my heart broken anymore.

I can't trust any guy anymore.

I'm done.

I'm done for good.

I'm done.

Funny.. and here I am.. with a new relationship.. with a new guy.. who I am hoping will be the last guy.. and I thought I was done..

Let's hope I'm not done.. let's hope that.. in a sense.. I am done.. done getting hurt.. and looking for someone new..

We can only pray..

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Let the frenzy begin..

Today.. er.. tonight will be busy.. gonna start on my annual "goodie-making" marathon. This year.. it will be easy.. just a bunch of fudge. It's good fudge.. fudge made with love.. and that's the best kind of fudge there is.

I love making home-made gifts to give to friends and family. For me.. putting that extra effort into making something from scratch just shows how much I appreciate having that person in my life. I hope that they realize that too.

I'm also making some red velvet cupcakes and filipino pastry.

It's going to be hard work and every year I get tired.. but every year I look forward to doing this.

It's Christmas time, people!!!!

Could time move any faster?!

I'm at home.. with mounds of laundry.. and tons of shopping.. and a baby I'm about to babysit in an hour or so..

O... m... g...

I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.. well.. not really.. I just feel very overwhelmed by my laundry right now.. especially since I'll have my boyfriend here this weekend.. gotta get the room ready for him to inhabitate..

This laundry is going to be death of me!

No idea!

December is just zooming by and I haven't gotten anything Christmas-related done. It's my last week of school for the year and so I am busy trying to wrap that up so that I can concentrate fully on all that I need to do for the Christmas stuff.

I have a boyfriend this year so I have to figure out what I am going to get him. I really have no idea. We are considering just going out somewhere nice and having just a little Christmas outing. But as nice as all that is.. I would really want to give him something that he could unwrap and stuff..

I just have no idea what that something could be.

Busy.. busy.. that I may have to just skip out on all the choir extra-curricular activities because I do have to juggle my time for the boyfriend. It's not like my past boyfriends where we lived close enough to see each other any time we wanted. This is different. We actually have to make time and make it a weekend event in order to see each other.

I have to be able to free of some time for that.

It's just Gods way of making sure I have time for someone and to make sure I know how to work through a relationship instead of just living it by and just being so blah about it all..

It's worth it..

Now.. any ideas for Christmas gifts for him??!?

You know that's cute!

That's us from last Saturday night. I took it with my camera phone because we both forgot out digital cameras. Silly us. Thank God my new phone has an awesome flash on it or we'd never have this picture.

Cute!

Fun.. fun.. fun..

I was in San Diego this weekend.

Went to go see my boyfriend that I haven't seen for a month. Yay!

We kinda celebrated our six month anniversary and then went to his company christmas party and just hung out.

It's always so much fun spending time with him.. it's a shame that he and I live far apart and are at times too busy to spend many weekends together..

Well..

It's ok.. we make the most of it.. and we have a great time.. I just wish that we'd have more great times more often.

He gave me the box set of the complete FRiENDS series.. it's awesome.. I had the DVDs per season.. but as he was borrowing them.. he realized that some of them are scratched.. so.. I was planning on buying the whole series myself.. but he beat me to it..

Sweet.

He makes me happy like a high schooler in a new relationship..

Same old excuse.

Non-stop.

Busy.

Tired.

You have NO idea how much work I have had to do these past few weeks. Things have just begun to slow down to the point that I have been able to take my breaks. But just when I thought that I will begin to have control over things.. I just get word that my workload is going to get so much more busy again.

I'm not really complaining. I like what I am doing.. it's just those several samples that don't seen to work as well as the other ones do. Not every sample runs smoothly and quickly. That's frustrating but it's nature.. it's the natural flow of things.. not all flow smoothly..

I guess the business works out for me because it gets my mind off of all the tragedy I've had to deal with in the past few weeks.

Earlier this week, we found out that one of the doctors in our laboratory system.. not our own branch lab.. was found dead..

Last week.. my friend died..

The week before that.. a family friend of my boyfriend had died..

Death comes in three's.. doesn't seem to fail..

God bless their souls..

Keeping things light today..

All I have today is a survey that I found on a Myspace bulletin.. I filled it out.. posted it there.. and now.. I'm posting it here..



Filling the time..

Who was the last person you hugged?
*Probably some friend.. or some choir person..

What were you doing at midnight last night?
*Waiting for Joe to stop studying so we could talk for a lil bit..

Parents separated/divorced/married?
*Married

Last time you saw your dad?
*Just.. right.. now!

Do you like coffee?
*It runs through my veins..

What do you drink in the morning?
*Nothing..

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
*I always have to be on the right side..

What's your favorite color skittle?
*Red.

Do you drink water daily?
*I gues..

Where are you?
*At home..

What do you want most right now?
*To see my boyfriend.. awww..

Three names you go by?
*Rachel.. EEEE.. Ninang..

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
*Nope..

Any plans for tomorrow?
*Work.. home.. bible study..

What are you doing tonight?
*Homework..

Do you have a best friend?
*Two awesome ladies!

Last kiss?
*LAST MONTH.... hopefully the next one is this weekend..

Absence...

There has been such a somber mood in the house since my friend passed away. He was way too young for that. The acceptance is sinking in.. and life is moving on... but he will always have a special place in my life..

Because of that I haven't had much of an urge to blog. I guess that's why I hadn't lately. But here I am again. Many lessons learned.. many thoughts running at full speed..

I'll have enough thought processes to create several blog posts for the next month.. so I'd encourage you to keep reading.

Today, I want to talk about something more pleasant. I want to get my mind off the death and the sadness and talk about something else..

The boyfriend.

He and I haven't seen each other for what will be a month next week. I am going down to visit him next week. Last time I saw him was the first weekend of November when I went down there to visit him..

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.. well.. I do miss him.. A LOT. I know he misses me.. and I think that's what makes me miss him more..

I know that the following week is going to go slow as I start to anticipate my going down there to see him.

Sheesh.. I pray that one of these years that the situation will change.. and we wont' have to be long-distance anymore..

But for now.. this is what we gotta do..

It couldn't possibly be happening to me..

This is something that only other people go through.. not me.. I don't have to deal with losing friends too soon in life.. stuff like that doesn't happen to me.. stuff like that happens to other people..

I could only wish..

It happened on Saturday. He got into a really bad accident at work.. I found out Sunday morning.. and have been on pins and needles ever since.. worrying out of my mind.. praying that he'll pull through..

Then.. I get a call late Sunday that he was officially brain dead..

Today.. they pulled the plug.

My friend is gone. He's my age.. and it was an accident. It shouldn't have happened.. it was an accident.

I'm shock and still can't believe this happened to such a great guy. He was a great friend and I will miss him lots..

I know I will see him again in Heaven. I know that he went peacefully. He doesn't have to feel pain anymore. I just wish that it didn't have to happen so soon. It all happened so fast.. my world is absolutely shaken.. it shouldn't have happened to him..

She's coming back on Friday..

Wait.. today's only Thursday..

It's been a busy Church week for me. Yesterday was the Bible Study. Today is a meeting for potential Eucharistic ministers. I am one, it's just that I want to start serving at Sacred Heart eventually. And then tomorrow is choir rehearsal.

I should have set up camp and spent the night at the Church this week.

Not only all that.. plus juggling this week's school work.

I guess it's a blessing that he isn't coming over this week.. or in the subsequent weeks.. let's me catch up on school..

But that isn't to say that I was going to sacrifice and work extra hard during the week in order to make some time on the weekends for him..

But well.. what can I do..

Anyway.. my workday is almost done.. so I can rejoice in surviving another day at work with my sanity.. hee hee..

Say goodbye..

Say good-bye to November.. and hello to December.. well.. at least that's what it feels like to me.. especially after finding out that I won't be able to see the boyfriend until December..

It's like.. I won't see him til December.. and then.. soon after.. he leaves for his trip.. then I won't see him til January whenever.. may even be as late as February..

It's going to be a rough few months on the relationship.. but taking it one week at a time.. I guess we can make it work..

Sucks.. but this is real life..

I guess in a way.. it's a blessing.. I'm swamped with work for this Finance and Accounting class I am taking for my MBA.. it's absolutely maddening how much work I have to do for this class.. I honestly can't wait til it's done. We are on Week 3.. halfway done.. so it's going by quickly.. but still.. I can't wait to be done..

I went to my first bible study class.. it was interesting and I learned a lot.. not about the bible just yet.. but it was an introduction.. and it was really interesting..

I can't wait til the next week.. and the weeks to come..

So.. this is my life for the next couple of weeks.. they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.. well.. let's hope so!

Weekend recap..

Ok.. well.. let's see.. the weekend was alright. Nothing majorly exciting happened. It wasn't a "boyfriend" weekend, so I had to fill it up with non-boyfriend activities.

Saturday I woke up nice and late. I slept in which felt marvelous! Went to a friend's aunt's birthday party. That was pretty fun.. I did feel a lot underdressed as we were required to wear jeans as a choir. We were singing for the Mass and for a little program that they had for the birthday girl. We we required to wear jeans and it was a little embarrassing because there were several people there that were more dressed up because it was an 85th birthday party at a little local hall. I was assuming a little more dressier than jeans-casual.. but no... we "had" to wear jeans because we all wanted to look "uniform.."

We all could have looked uniform wearing something a little nicer than jeans.. but whatever.. I'm not the "leader" so I don't have say..

I had fun despite feeling under dressed.. which we really were.. but whatever.. I'm over it.. hahaha..

Sunday was full of Church and homework.. homework.. homework..

That was my weekend.

On a lighter note.. I have decided to join a Bible/Catechism of the Catholic Church study class at my parish. It's on Wednesday nights and I'm excited. I missed going to Bible Study and now I get the chance to do so again.

I am sooo ready to open my mind and heart to all the teachings of the Catholic Church and to see how everything we believe in is rooted in Scripture. That's going to be so fun!

Can't wait!

Glyde-ing through life..

That is a picture of my new phone. No.. it's obviously NOT a blackberry.. and I did good with not spending too much money.. and not adding any additional monthly services.. or increasing my monthly phone bill..

It's still something I need to get used to.. the touch screen is pretty awesome but I am still getting used to where the buttons are and what they do and where they lead me. The QWERTY keyboard is a tad different than my old phone and the way I have to hold it to text is a tad different.. but I am overall satisfied with my phone choice.

It's a lot smaller than my old phone and less bulky.. so I did good.. yay!

Man.. oh man..

Fires. In Santa Barbara. Many, many homes are being destroyed as I type. Wow.

Tragedies like that make me realize that my own life could be so much worse than what I have. In reality, I have it fairly well.

Blessed. Prayer is all we really have.

- - - - -

Yawn. I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday already. Having Tuesday off for Veteran's Day really threw me off. I can't believe how thrown off I was this week. It wasn't as bad as I anticipated but it was still a little odd to have a day off in the middle of the week and it wasn't a sick-call.

- - - - -

I got a new phone. No.. not a Blackberry. I compromised with myself and decided to go with the Samsung Glyde. I didn't have to add any extra services.. therefore.. my monthly phone bill is the same. It's a nice phone and it's taking some getting used to.. but it's working out so far.. it's got a touch screen. The closest I'll ever get to owning an iPhone. I'm happy about it.

- - - - -

My unofficial firstborn son has an email account. I'm officially old!

Shaken.. and stirred..

I have to admit that the events of the past weekend, tho' had a happy ending.. have left me a tad bit shaken..

I guess when relationships take one of those bad turns.. and make you reevaluate everything you thought you knew about it.. you can't help but feel a little shaken about it..

I mean.. in the next few days.. what if he changes his mind..

That's the main concern.

But I just keep thinking that if we decided what we decided.. then.. that's it.. right? I mean.. I'm not going to change my mind.. and we both have a lot of things on our plate right now that we don't have time to change our minds.. right?

It's just that minor "re-building" period that I seem to hate so much.. the minor insecurity.. trying to keep your mind open to whatever will happen from now on..

Finally realizing that the relationship you are in is not invincible.. that the relationship you are in is vulnerable to everything that everyone else's relationships are vulnerable to.. that the relationship you are in is not the exception to the rule..

One day.. one month.. at a time.. no more.. no less.. or else it may seem highly overwhelming..

"I'll pray for you.."

I'm sure that is a saying many of us have encountered.. and many of us had said.. I'm sure we say it everyday!

But now.. let's think about it..

For all the people that you say "I'll pray for you.." how many of us actually do?

For some of us.. that term is used very loosely.. if someone is going through a hard time.. or someone tells us of their minute problems.. the first instinct is to tell that person "I'll pray for you.." but when it comes down to prayer time.. you may forget..

Or is that just my problem?

I've begun to start generalizing it.. "Dear God.. for those people I said that I would pray for today.. I'm offering prayers to their need in the hopes that whatever they are going through or whatever they need be resolved and taken into Your loving care.."

Is that sufficient?

Or should I start writing stuff down and pray in detail?

I mean.. I'm sure it counts.. right? Prayer is prayer.. intention is intention..

I just feel bad for the people that may really be going through something I end up lumping them into my general "I'll pray for you.." prayer.. instead of praying intently for that person's needs..

Something to think about.. what do you do?

Stormy weather..

Welcome to November.. weather and all..

Got back from San Diego.. it was.. interesting.. and let's just say that.. it all turned out for the better..

I found the peace and I found a reason to smile again.. because I know.. and that's all I needed to know.. in the end.. that's all I needed to know..

And that's all I am going to say about that.. for now.. hahaha..

I gotta start winding down.. and focus on the homework at hand.. I can't find the concentration.. maybe because I am still not 100% sure what the assignment is asking me to do write about.. it's only a 700 word minimum. That shouldn't be so hard. I can blog about 700 words if really given the time..

I should be able to finish that paper in no time.. yawn..

Too bad I only got a few hours of sleep last night.. and a two hour nap before I went back home..

But we all know that is never enough sleep for me..

All pretty and dressed up..

Halloween.. 2008.

The picture was taken from the church choir's halloween party and choir rehearsal. Granted.. we didn't spend too much time reshearsing.. and much more time partying.. and karaoking..

You get a room full of singers together.. with a piano in one room.. and a karaoke in another room.. what did you expect?

Of course you are!

Well.. we didn't really "talk" like I want to.. but in my own way.. I found a way to get something out of him that I have been wanting to hear for awhile..

I am important to him.

I mean.. I guess I did always know that.. it's true that he wouldn't make the drive up here every other weekend or so.. without any complaints.. if I wasn't important to him..

Actions do speak louder than words..

But sometimes words mean a lot.. it's just something I wanted to hear.. and it's made me feel better about him.. and about me.. and about us.. and I'm slowing patching things up in my mind..

Now if I could just adjust to the Daylight Savings Time change.. then life would be perfection.. hahaha!

Important..

It's nice to be wanted.. isn't it?

I mean.. it makes you feel somewhat important in someone's life.. right?

I just feel like.. I'm not important.. I'm not important to the one person that I shoud be somewhat important to.. and well.. it sucks..

Six months later.. you would think that I would have gained SOME importance.. I mean.. I'm not asking for top priority.. but at least some sort of status.. some sort of stature in the hierarchy of his life..

I felt important before.. when we first started going out.. when we first met each other.. when we were getting to know each other.. I felt important then.. and now.. as the months go by.. I just feel less and less important.. it's like.. he doesn't even try anymore.. the only effort he makes is when he drives up here every other weekend.. and spends the weekend with me.. outside of that.. it's like.. he barely cares..

I mean.. he's not a bad boyfriend at all.. there are moments when I we are both there.. both in the same moment.. where I feel we are both on the same page.. and then.. he pulls back..

I don't know what he's afraid of..

And the longer this is going.. the more I'm losing interest.. and I'm just scared that by the time he realizes to fix this.. I'll be so deep into my "shut down" mode.. that I'm not going to want to fix it anymore..

Sad thing is.. I don't think he realizes what's going on right now.. and when we talk.. it's like.. he's so oblivious.. it's hard to get the coversation started..

Why can't he realize that I'm actually hurting here?

I don't know how to do it..

I'm tired.. maybe I should sleep early.

I read an article in a magazine.. I forgot which.. that said that people that tend to get less than about five hours of sleep tend to gain weight.

Gasp!

They said that lack of sleep supresses some sort of hormone or something that slows down the metabolism and that is when you start gaining weight. Maybe i'll read it again and blog more about it when I actually know the details.

My week off I should start going to bed earlier.. and I think that is what I'll do now.. I am kinda sleepy.. why fight it.. there isn't anything uber important going on anyway.. right?

There isn't much..

There isn't much to say today.. not that there is so much to say any other day.. but.. I felt like leaving an entry just because.. it's fun.

I am officially on a week break from school. I just finished my.. fourth.. fifth.. class towards my MBA.. it's fun.. I guess.. I'm still trying to decide if this really something I want to pursue afterwards. I'm not as enthusiastic about it as I was taking all my science classes. But I'm going to keep on going.. cuz I don't want to quit. I've been getting by.. why stop now?

I mean.. it's really only been a few classes.. maybe I just haven't found something that really peaks my interest.

My next class is finance and accounting. Math.

Now I'm curious how to do a math class.. online..

I guess we'll find out next week!

After this finance and accounting class, which should end in mid December.. I get a break for the holidays. No school for about two and a half weeks. That's going to be sooo great!

Other than this week off.. there isn't really anything else going in my life.. my relationship is.. going.. work is.. going.. life is just.. going..

I'm happy.. healthy.. and blessed.. so I really can't complain..

And we meet in the sky..

Six months is enough for a person to know how you kinda feel about them.. right?

I mean.. regardless of how much you see a person.. right?

And it's not like we hardly see each other and also hardly ever talk or anything.. cuz we talk everyday..

And I only said I didn't know.. cuz.. maybe I did know.. but until he said he didn't.. then.. it make me realize that maybe I don't know either.. and why should I feel like I know.. if he doesn't.. how would that really make me feel?

But six months is a long time to not really know..

And waiting another six months is waiting a whole year for someone to figure out what they want and how they feel.. and do I really want to subject myself to that?

Ugh.. why did this all just take a turn for the scary??!

Yawn.. yawn.. yawn..

I think I need to lie down and take another rest. A nap would sound really good right now. But I want to do homework. Ugh.. and I forgot that I have laundry to take care of.. ugh..

Ever feel that there is never enough time to get all the stuff you need to do.. done?

Ever feel like you wish there were eight days a week instead of seven.. or 25 hours in a day.. instead of 24..

Could you imagine how much more work would be done if there was one extra hour.. or just one extra day..

Could you imagine???

It makes me ill..

I got sick.

I don't know if it's all the work from this year's cursillo weekend that wore me down.. and then I got a flu shot.. and now.. I'm all fever-ish..

I'm taking another day off this week.. ugh.. I took Monday off to rest from the Cursillo weekend.. and now I'm taking tomorrow of to rest because I am sick.. I've been battling a high fever and my head feels like it's going to explode.. it also hurts to move because my body is so achy.

Flu?

Boo.

I shouldn't have gotten my flu shot then.. I guess..




Minus the large hat... this is how I feel right now..

Prioritize..

I am finding myself less and less happy with my workplace situation.

Let me preface this by saying.. I LOVE MY JOB. I love the work I do. I am in the bacteriology department of a veterinary diagnostics lab. I love the work. It's exactly everything I enjoyed when I was in school and what I had always dreamed myself doing after I graduated.

My supervisor believes in my work. The lab director believes in my work.

It's the rest of the people in my department.. my peers.. that seem to leave me feeling rather unappreciated and unimportant.

The constantly find ways to try to make me look bad in front of my supervisor.. telling her things that I am not the only one guilty of doing.. exaggerating things that I seem to be doing..

Luckily.. my supervisor has been able to see through all this and has seemed to take my side for a lot of these occurances. It got so bad at one point I actually started crying in front of my supervisor.

I am constantly left out of things.. and they all seem to treat me as if I am a level below them.. even the lab assistant.. which I am ranked higher than.. treats me as if I am below her..

I love where I work.. but the situation with these people make me really consider looking for another job.

I've talked to my supervisor about this and nothing seems to change.. what should I do?

You can call me selfish..

Or just over-protective of my work..

I don't like when people invade my workspace.

I don't like when people criticize my work area. It's not sloppy. It's spread out.. I take a lot of room.. maybe cuz I need certain areas to represent certain parts to what I am doing.

Don't question my area. It gets done.. the work gets done.

Don't sit there and pretend you are so much better than me because you feel your workspace is more managable than mine. I get just as much work done as everyone else.

Ugh.. sometimes I feel like I really don't belong in this facility.. that the people and I don't mesh well..

But I love the work.. I love what I am doing here.. and it should be enough to keep me here.. but sometimes.. I just don't know.

There's a song..

Sometimes.. there's a song that will just totally bury you inside of it.. and you just want it to cover every bit of your being.. you want to live it.. love it.. and embrace it as your own.. you wish to identify with every word.. every note.. every turn in the melody..

This song.. this song written by Scott Alan.. called "The Journey.." is definitely one of them..

It seems to be the quintessential wedding song.. and I pray that one day.. I will be able to use it.. sing it.. have it represent the love I have found with my husband.. and the life that we will share for the rest of our lives.. and hold sacred the vows we make in front of God and our family and friends..

Gosh.. this song.. is.. amazing!

THE JOURNEY

Josh

I could stay in this forever
Enfold you nightly in my arms
Sing you lullaby’s whenever
I’ll give to you all that I can

You will never have to worry ‘bout the future
I will make sure everyday that I provide
I will hold you through the night
Until the sky turns light
The journey now begins, with you and I

Jill

The love we created has exceeded
Any measurements I’ve ever known
Brought joy to me, when it was needed
It’s nice to know I’m not alone

I will make sure you are reminded that I love you
I will walk miles just to hold you by my side
I’ll protect you while you sleep
Make every dream complete
The journey now begins, with you and I

Josh
I’ll treat everyday with you like it’s the beginning

Jill
I will be your strength in times when you are weak

Josh
I will never be to far away from you

Josh and Jill
There is nothing I won’t do

Josh
You will never have to worry ‘bout the future

Jill
I’ll make sure you are reminded that I love you

Josh
I will make sure everyday that I provide

Jill
I’ll walk miles just to hold you by my side

Josh
I will hold you through the storms

Josh
Anything to keep you warm

Josh and Jill
The journey now begins, with you and I
You and I

It's a duet sung by Josh Strickland and some girl named Jill.. I can't remember the last name.. that's why their names are there..

I can sink into this song.. and listen to it for an eternity...

Pace yourself..

My friend just told me she feels that this week is progressing rather slowly..

I told her that it felt like it's zoomed by and I have not gotten anything done for class!

She says that my boyfriend said the same thing.. that this week was zooming by fast.

Hahah.. him and I haven't really discussed the pace of the week lately.. so.. I guess we're on the same page..

School makes time fly by.. can you believe I'm already on week four for this current class.. it seems like yesterday that I was barely starting up again.. sheesh.. time does fly when in school..

I hope I find the time to finish all that needs to be finished and i'm not cramming on a Monday night frantic to finish..

I have been getting better at focusing and not surfing the internet as much while reading or writing.. so maybe I'll get faster at finishing the tasks at hand for class..

We could only hope!

Is it the weekend already?

It's only Tuesday!

This weekend is "the bee's" first birthday. "The bee" is my cousin's daughter. She's gonna be a year old.. man.. does time fly.. especially when it comes to kids!

Seems like only yesterday we were visiting my cousin cuz she just gave birth.. now.. that baby is going to be a year old!

I guess it's true what they say about babies.. that they grow up so fast and that you have to cherish every moment you have with them because you can never get those years back..

Then they turn into kids that give you headaches.. and you wish they were babies again..

Hunny!

October.. 6th!

Well.. this weekend was busy.. I was at my cousin's house for Friday and Saturday.. and I was helping babysit my cousin's three kids. I love those kids but they are a handful! Seven, four, and three years old... they'd drive anyone nuts.. but at the end of the day.. I miss them.. especially when they get sleepy and then they are all cuddly and "angelic.."

I know.. the picture has NOTHING to do with today's topic.. but I just thought it'd be fun to put pictures in my postings again..

That was from the last time I was at Disneyland.. I think it was the first weekend of September.. I went for my birthday and for my godson's birthday.. that was fun.. again.. the same three kids.. the same three handfuls.. but I love them.. and I guess that's the true meaning of unconditional love...

Hmmm.. I guess it's a "training course" for whenever.. if ever.. I have children of my own..

Our thoughtful spot..

It's October.. time to start financially preparing for christmas and kiddie's birthdays.. because they all seem to come around at once.. craziness..

This year has definitely been a blur.. but a fun blur.. opening another chapter in my life.. and closing so much and leaving that behind..

Well.. I guess I better get back to reading my chapters for class..

I'm starting to believe that this "business thing" is not for me.. but it's kinda too late to turn back now.. I've got at least 4 classes under my belt.. and that means I have about seven more.. so why quit now.. it'll be a financial burden.. but I know I can handle it.. when the time comes.. I just hope that this does work out for the best in the end.. cuz right now.. I'm thinking that I'd rather be a lab rat.. than a business person..

OH well..

The ladies..

Just wanted to post a picture of my best friends and I from my birthday party on Saturday. I have a new hair cut.. it's short.. unexpectedly short.. but I love it nonetheless..

Enjoy!

Tired is as tired does..

I am tired.. I'm always tired.. hahah..

Well.. it's back to reality after my pretty whirlwind birthday weekend. I gotta tell you.. celebrating the birthday is sooo much better than lamenting the birthday..

Why did I spend so many years avoiding my birthday?! LOL..

Well.. next year is the big 3-0.. minus 1.. haha.. I got that idea from my coworker.. he was all.. "how was your big 3-0.. minus 2?!" I told him I'm sooo using that as my thing for next year's birthday.

Now I gotta start thinking about the holiday season and who and what I am going to get for everyone and what's going to go on.. I decided not to do the ACT thing with my friends this year.. because it's in a farther facility.. and it's still $100 which I am trying to save money for upcoming student loans I will start paying back in 2010.. and I don't wanna find myself in a financial bind over it.. so I start now.. and who knows what kinda things will come up..

I look back at my life.. this past year.. and I can see how much I have changed.. how much more positive I am about everything..

How I have finally learned to "let go.. and let God" in my life.. how.. I can find happiness despite everything seeming so negative at times..

I know that life is always going to be an uphill climb.. but I know that once I get to my destination.. I'll be able to look down on it all.. and it will all be so amazing!

Here we are.. doomsday?!

Well.. it's my birthday and despite the fact that I am sitting here at work.. it's actually been great so far...

Went to dinner with the family and "the boyfriend" came out just in time to have dinner.. and the whole fam went to go watch that new movie "Eagle Eye."

It's actually an ok movie.. and it makes me think twice about how much stuff I reveal about myself on the internet.. lol.. scary thought.. watch the movie and you'll see why..

Then I went home and opened the gift that Joe got me... a Wii Fit.. which is perfect because I had been wanting it for sometime now.. so I ended up staying up til 2am playing and stuff..

Now.. I'm at work..

Which shouldn't be that hard.. if I just get off the computer and get some work done! hahaha!

Happy Birthday to me.. and I hope to have loads of fun tonight!

Tomorrow.. you're only a day away..

Today is my last day of twenty seven.. tomorrow starts the first day of twenty eight.

Exciting.

I start off the day at work.

What a way to spend a saturday birthday.

I'm definitely not complaining. I took yesterday off cuz I was.. and kinda still am.. sick.. so working on Saturday makes up for it a little bit. Can't complain.

Gonna eat a lot these next few days... dun.. dun.. dun..

Hope to have lotsa pictures when the weekend's over!

Now you know that's cute!

You give your hand to me..

One day at a time.. I guess that's just how I'm going to deal with it.. I mean.. I've said it before.. maybe on another blog.. but I'll have to say it again..

I'm know he's here today.. happy he was here yesterday.. and I pray he'll be here tomorrow..

I shouldn't think about it anymore.. but I wasn't kidding when I told him that this will now loom over us omniously until we figure out what to do..

The things I know is that he makes me happy.. takes care of me like no other guy has really ever done.. and I can honestly say that is the truth.. I know that I will be hurt if we decide that we shouldn't continue..

But I shouldn't think about it.. I should just be happy about the present.. and not think so much about the future.. but he's like me.. always thinking ahead..

I used to get told about that.. other guys hated that i always thought ahead.. and always thought of the worst case scenario.. now he does the same thing.. and I'm trying to just think about the present and be happy about the present.. cuz right now.. this is all we have..

The present is all we have.. to touch.. to feel.. to experience.. the future will come but no one knows what it is going to bring.. so we have to deal with the now.. and trust that the future will come and give us something to look forward to..

So.. from this point on.. tho' I worry.. and tho' I think.. I have to remind myself that there really is..

No day but today..

Sheesh.. I knew that making RENT one of my favorite musicals of all time would pay off eventually..

The buzzkill..

Well.. it's happened..

He and I had "the talk.." and that could never be good.

I mean.. we both kinda knew what we were getting into when we first started this.. long distance.. limited time.. ultimately.. we either make.. or break.. when the time came.. if we "make" then one of us or both of us.. pretty much has to uproot their lives for the sake of the relationship.. if neither of us are really willing.. then.. we have no choice but to "break".. right?

Five months..

I guess it's sorta early to really expect one of us to be willing to uproot for the other..

But still..

Scary thought to think I may actually lose this guy in the end..

I really don't want to. I may have said that about pretty much every single guy I've been with.. don't we all?

I want to say he's different from all the other guys.. but I say that all the time too..

I will say this..

At this point in my life.. I know he is who I want to be with.. whether it be for the long term or the short term.. I know I want to be with him.. no one else.. and that's that. It scares me to think he could just be another one to add to my list of failed relationships.. but if that's the way it's gonna be.. do I really have any other choice?

I just pray that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.. that we find our answers.. and that i might hopefully find the "happily ever after" i have always been searching for.. whether it be with him.. or anyone else..

Pray.

The Lord definitely provides..

Last weekend, the Men's Cursillo class only had about 11 candidates for the weekend.. just a few candidates short of the usual goal that we need to have the weekend.. but we were going to have it anyway..

Today.. there will be about 16 candidates experiencing and living out their Cursillo weekend.

The Lord definitely does not disappoint. He may keep us on our toes, but he definitely provides.. always.

Praying for a successful Cursillo weekend and may all those that are helping provide the candidates with an experience they may cherish for their lifetime.

Ten days..

Let the countdown begin.. ten days until I turn 28.

I'm not bitter.. I'm actually kind of excited. This is the first time in many, many years that I am actually going to celebrate.. with friends..

It's my countdown to 30 party.. celebrating the last few years of my twenties..

It'll be fun to celebrate it with the friends that I cherish most in life.. and the boyfriend whom I hope will someday be someone I can look back at smile upon...

It helped a lot that my actual birthday fell on a Saturday this year.. it was more motivation.. I mean.. how often does one's birthday fall on a weekend.. why waste a good weekend night?

Right?

I hope you had the time of your life..

San Diego came and went and now I'm back home with pictures and memories to last a lifetime.

We all had fun.. the family.. the signficant others..

The weather was good.. and I got a little sun burnt but it's nothing to cry over..

I am still kind of tired and in "vacation mode" but I'm quickly snapping out of that with all that I have to do here at work today.. it's kinda hard to stay lazy when there are a million things sitting on my deck waiting to get done.

I am kind of hungry so I'm thinking of an early lunch. I fell asleep the minute I got home yesterday.. I only intended to stay in bed for a little bit, but ended up staying asleep til pretty much this morning.

It felt good to get all those hours of sleep.. but it meant that I ended up skipping dinner last night.. oops..

I'm paying for it now cuz I am starving.

I think I'll try to post some pictures up here like I used to of the various memories I made this past weekend.. hopefully I don't get lazy or anything.. hahaha.. I can't help it.. another class is starting up again.. and so.. my time will be occupied by reading and paper writing again.. boo..

All that glitters is gold..

The day is dragging.. on and on and on..

I want it to be five o'clock already.

I feel like a kid that is anxiously anticipating the hours til they get to go to disneyland.. i remember being like that.

I remember being like that commercial where the kids are lying in bed wide awake cuz they are too excited to sleep. That was me.. then.. and now.

I guess the day isn't really draggin on as slow as I'm letting on. It's moving.. just not fast enough.. that's all.

I get to see "boy" after two weeks of not seeing him. I was watching "A Walk To Remember" last night and for some reason it really, really, really made me miss him. Its not like he's absolutely perfect like the lead male character.. I don't know.. I just missed him after watching it.

That's all.. nothing profound behind it.. I just did.

Maybe I should have asked for a shorter day. Nah.. I don't want to lose any hours because we are so short-handed here in the lab.

I guess I gotta do what I gotta do..

San Diego.. here we come.. well.. tomorrow!

So.. the fam vacation starts tomorrow..

And to clarify for some people that may be reading this..

I had scheduled this weekend a few months ago.. totally forgetting that "boy" was going to be out of town with his friends. When he found out, he kind of whined at me for scheduling it for that particular weekend.. but what could I do.. that was the only available weekend I had...

He had every intention of still going on that trip.. until about two weeks ago.. when he started having second thoughts..

Up until this past Monday.. he was undecided and I had put it in my head that he was going to Vegas.. until he told me he was staying..

I don't know if that really means anything.. i am glad he's gonna be there.. so I'll just leave it at that!

Conversations..

It's amusing.. the kinds of conversations you can have with a person.

Take for instance.. the "significant other.."

Topic of conversation: bedtime.

I don't know how or why it got started.. it just did.. he's saying that he wouldn't mind being the kind of couple that would turn in at 9pm. I mean.. really?

He's only two years older than me.. why is he acting like that?

I guess I wouldn't mind an earlier bedtime, I mean.. that means more sleep and more refreshed feeling in the morning..

But honestly.. that would only work if there were no kids in the picture.. at least no babies..

That would be sooo unfair if he'd continue to go to bed at 9pm while I have to tend to a child with changing sleep patterns..

Well.. that's too much "future" thinking..

But sheesh.. I'm from a family who's bedtimes range from 11ish pm to 1ish am.. we arent early sleepers.. we are early risers.. but not by choice.. we like to sleep in..

He's just silly..

Tho' many times..

I am bored at work. I currently have nothing to do until someone does something to give me some samples and then I can get to work.

As for now, I am trying to walk around and looking busy because I hate being idle at work.

I work in a lab and there should always be something for me to do.

Today is just one of those rare days.

This weekend is the family trip to San Diego. My boyfriend lives in San Diego. I had accidentally scheduled this trip to occur with he would be out of town with some guy friends of his.

Apparently, he's deciding not to go on that trip and spending the weekend with me and family.

I know I shouldn't be blogging it because I don't want to jinx it, but those are the plans so far. I won't be ecstatically happy until I actually see him that weekend. As of now, anything goes and he could suddenly be talked into going on that trip and then I'm left without a partner cuz my brother is bringing his girlfriend and the my parents have each other.

Well..

If he does spend the weekend with me and the fam over his friends in Vegas.. that kinda says a lot.. doesn't it?

Sleep.. sleep.. sleep..

I would love to be asleep right now.

I'm finishing up one last chapter before I can do so. I just need a brain break.

It's my last week of this class. I get a week off. I cherish these weeks off. The six week classes go by soo quickly. I can't believe it. It seems like I was JUST complaining about this class during week one. Now I'm almost done.

I think after this I have eight more classes.

It's faster than I thought. I think I can survive this.

It's not so bad when I think of it in that sense.

Hmm..

Welcome to September..

We have now entered my "birthday month.."

September.. a whole month of birthday fun.. haha.. I wish.

My birthday is towards the end of September and looking at my calendar.. the whole month is pretty booked. I can't believe how fast time is going.

Twenty-eight.

On the twenty-seventh.

That's it folks.. we're counting down my 20s.. gonna party into my 30s..

I gotta make the most of this.. you only have your 20s once in your life!